Me no D-R-A-M-A babeh

I just realized something ... not me in fact, it was her to realize it. Why do I always look like the bad one, the evil one when things happen.

I don't create problems, I don't go being dramatic in front of people and pretend I'm the victim and things like that. It was the past, rather long time ago when it occured.

First, I know this J that told practically the whole world me and her were good friends, like really good friends, in similar with best friends, that we always hang out with each other. I wondered how she define as ALWAYS. Always to me seem like perhaps once per week to the least. It seems so surreal nevertheless. In a matter of fact, we hung out like TWICE. Yes you read that right, twice. Was that what she meant as always. See we happened to know the same people, and she told them I had changed dramatically, that I am not the person she used to know anymore, I changed and I changed after I left the country and I have forgotten her as a friend. People's perception will be ... why am I so bad, why do I forget a friend just because I left for studies and after knowing new people, I tend to forget my own roots. Fact is I didn't. Today I can say she's the one who changed who once used to be the innocent and obedient one, now ... became someone I have not known, who grown become so rebellious and wild. Nobody knows we knew each other .. until she opend her mouth but I wouldn't do the same thing as she does because that doesn't make me different from her at all. The perception? I were to blame for the downfall though we were never even consider as close.

Another incident happened ... also kinda long ago, that people thought our friendship could prolong and stay on and could only become stronger without any doubt for eternity. Fact was we were close at one point and it just failed somehow after a certain time. We used to hang out a lot, and we were apart in distance and something somewhere just happened. A common friend asked in regards of this ... and the answser .. we were not hanging out together anymore, we were not talking to each other, but do not know why because I was the one who not wanting to talk and go out with her apparently. I was not shocked, I expected. Again, being the dramatic one, do all the dramas ... act in front of people, and I shall be the bad and evil one once again. The truth beholds, it's out there and it's only known for me and her. She may say so many untrue things, making it as if I am THAT bad, but do you know what? I am certainly not bothered even though you tell the whole wide universe I am THAT bad and again pretending innocent in front of them.

I know I am not dramatic, I am just me, without you, without anyone, I am just me, the one you know. I am just as straight forward as you think I am, and it's critically straight forward. At times, I didn't mean it to make it obvious when unpleasant things happen, like there's this uninvited feelings about people, and if I develop this feelings, I can't help it but to show it. At least I am true, I am not fake OKAY. If I am against you, I just am, I don't have to say I am ... it will all be well written on my face. In a matter of fact, if anybody wonders, most of the time, this facial expression just happen, I didn't intend to show it and I don't realize. I am not good at hiding. It's rather obvious I will say. Someone who know me for close to 5 years now told me I never changed in that part. I may change in my outlook, my anything but when it comes to this issue, I remain the same, remain unchanged. Hence, of people saying I am the bad one, well ... it's up to those to decide to believe or not to. Decision is yours, I don't go up there trying to please you and try to prove it wrong. I don't bother and I don't give a dang about this, I got a much better life than to please people. If you have the brains, if you have that attitude, you will find out for yourself whether it's true or it isn't about something as in generally speaking.