Rest In Peace, "Baby" We Miss Ya

To himself everyone is immortal; he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead. ~Samuel Butler
Death a friend that alone can bring the peace his treasures cannot purchase, and remove the pain his physicians cannot cure. ~Mortimer Collins

At this point of time, I am totally speechless. Speechless and just real speechless. I am just too shocked with the news. An ex-classmate of mine had told me to check my mail and I did as being told.

To my shocking surprise, or rather I am just too stunned ... too dumbfounded to say anything anymore, that, our ex-classmate ... had laid to rest on 22nd November, 2 days back.

I knew her back in college, when we were still young, very young, going through classes together and all. She was this cute, bubbly and cheerful girl despite her having a chronic disease from an early age until the day she took her last breath. That wasn't all, she was also hit by a viral infection last June and having said that, she had to go countless surgeries, in and out of the hospital. We had this friendship bonded, partly because our birthday was one day apart. Losing her is such a waste, she was being nice to everyone, genuine and treated people with pure sincerity. How many people have you ever met like this. We crapped a lot, and I remembered many people used to tease her with Kyoto or something like that.
It was Heng Yap who was in coma before this and passed away, and now it's her. How fragile life is if one wonder. It's just too fragile. One minute you are here, the next minute you can't guarantee you are still gonna be here. Life is so unfair. Nice people always go first, and the bad ones stay longer. How tragical is this. I am in total disbelief, it seems that it was just yesterday we were in KDU cafeteria doing our assignments off together, crapping in the middle, and talking on the phone the next minute, but who knows, today, right now, I can't believe my eyes after reading that email that she isn't longer here. It feels so dubious and vague, but no, it's a matter of fact, that she had passed away and she is no longer here, and me, is unable to see her again, anymore, and it will just be the past and anything ... but the past. I regretted for not being to meet her before her passings. We said once, that we will meet each other after she moved house. Days, weeks, months and year passed and we have yet to meet and right now, chances are no longer here with me. It's just a dream to meet her.
She was part of my life, she had once left a big path in my heart and I will never ever forget her. Though she is very small size, but she had left a big mark there and can never be erased. I guess, it's too late to say and do anything, but if she ever wonders, yes ... I miss ya. We were together 2 years, and we had gone through a lot together, and guess what ... we had spent 4 hours on the phone before. No joke, 4 hours yes. All the ups and down, thick and thin. What can I say now, absolutely nothing. I didn't even know she was hit with the viral infection, and even when I asked her how's life treating her, she never mentioned one bit about it. Why didn't she. I know she didn't want anyone to worry .. but ... WHY.
In a matter of fact, I am actually too numb to type this out even. I am just as startled as when I just heard it. Slowly and gradually, I am accepting it. I am just grateful that I met her, that she had once shared her life with me, that we were just ... friends. We had lost a good person.
Seeing her going through under so many injections, all the time, I felt sorry and I felt she was really strong when she was still alive. All her life, and being so small size, she could withstand it until at the age of 23. She really had the determination, and I respect her for that, and I really meant it. It isn't easy, perhaps, if it was me, I would have given up hope on life. But, she always see hope and faith. For us, we have no mental strength to go to work and all, and people like her has to worry, whether she could go on living the next day, and she wonders if she can make it just for another day. It was such a daily worry for her. And .. why even we complaining. She told me before how worry she was before. Doctor told her once she could live until only for a few years from the time I know her, and she exceeded the doctor's estimation. Bravo! I am sure everyone's proud of her, it's her achievement. At least, she had seen the world, she grew up in Japan before, Turkey, England and Malaysia of course. I guess all her dreams came true, she even finished her degree in Leeds and everything else was accomplished. She told me she was afraid to be close to people, as she knows one day, she will just be gone, just like that and I had told her, at least, you were part of them before, and the most important is to enjoy your life while you can. She had accomplished her dream and even having that disease all along, and need constant treatment, she managed to go over to Leeds, all by herself. Her energy drive was so strong that people should learn from her in my very honest opinion. It's a guidance, a life guidance that should be shared.

This picture is ought not to be laughed at, "Baby" we miss you loads, that's what I call her, hope you are now in a better place, free from torments, tortures, injections and worries and hope you are much happier in a better place :)

KDU Dip 7 Zoo miss you ... and I meant, we really do miss you