Tuesday, August 18, 2009

It's you and me

2 years down, ever since we knew each other. How much really do we know of each other. I admit I don't, probably just a small percentage. But, do you even know me in that same percentage. I doubt it.

That little statement had proved it all, that you don't even know me, since that you could say that out. I am the opposite of that, if you don't even know because people notice that at the very beginning.

Frankly, the existing situation of us is not very good already, but ... you wanna jeopardize it all, trash everything that is already there, as if it is not bad enough. But, I am treating you different from before, nicer than before, not because I have forgotten everything, not because that I'm alright with everything, but ... I don't care anymore, that I don't bother for whatever happens anymore, and perhaps, that might or might not be a good sign depending on how you see it.

For whatever you described me as before, was really what is contrary of my real self. I am not expecting you to know everything, but well, we are all adults, and you should know what to say and what not to say in certain issues, in different situations. I'm glad that you wanna share some stuff with people that we both know, but ... you gotta be aware of people's feelings. I now know how you see me as, as someone who is LOA, but in fact, for those who know both you and me, they will say instead the LOA is indeed you, and not me.

I might hang out with you, but that's just a hang out buddy and nothing more. Buddy are not friends, but friends might be buddy. In your case, you are just a buddy. You might say I am not someone genuine, well, if that makes you happy, why not. Think as you wish. I have no problem with that, for, I have genuinely and sincerely treated you as one of the friends before, but ... well, it was just never meant to be like that. Remember, I tried and I did. That was why I treated you worse before, because I have that little expectations. Since that you have been very well downgraded as a buddy, I care no more about anything. That is why now, I am treating you much better.

Seriously, without you, I am as happy as always, even happier than you're here. That's before. I don't hold grudges, but I just remember. It's not something I wanna do, but ... I remember everything you did. Now, I could talk to you while chilling out, but not someone I will talk to for issues. Never in my mind before. That's how I see you, it could be fortunate or unfortunate, again, depends how you see it.

It's a waste maybe to some people, but ... I don't see a waste. You have said it before you appreciated and cherished, but I am those who don't believe in words, I believe in actions more than anything else. I have my own life principles, you break it, and that's how you end up. Well, not that it matters, but ... well.

If you feel I am talking about you, yes you, then it could be. If you have done nothing of those, for however I say it, you will not feel the pinch at all. If you have the courage, ask me if it's really you. That's the reason behind all those treatment now ;)

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