Contradicting

Initially, I didn't wanna say anything, initially, I didn't wanna even talk about it. But, why should I refrain, I thought.

What is the definition of contradicting. It means oppose, differ, dissimilar, contrast, vary and etc. Some species, in my honest opinion, is rather extremely funny. They say something, they do the other. First, he said that he is those people who appreciate small group of people to hang out with, because it's the quality he's looking for. Right now, he is just doing the opposite. Well, it's none of my business, right. Exactly. But this is just those small points that contradict himself, but at some point, IS my problem because it has got something to do with me.

All along, we have not been THAT good to begin with. Along the way throughout those few years we knew each other, conflicts, misunderstandings and misconceptions all came into place. Conflicts after conflicts, and God, it's tiring. So, I have come to understand one major thing, there often have miscommunication between us, and only us. As a result, I shall just take a step back, in whatever circumstances it is. I took one step, two steps, three steps, and we grew farther and farther apart, as far as it could.

I stopped everything. I stopped contacting him, I stopped messaging him, and in whichever medium it is, it remained silent. It is all due because at one point, we kept on arguing, over nothing. Days and months, nothing changed. The best thing to do back then was not to contact him at all. He was also protecting someone who does not deserve it because I used to respect this guy but not anymore. However, he was protecting that particular guy.

I thought it will solve everything, apparently not. He would say things that will trigger me, to my friends. He will say and do stupid things that will provoke me. He used to say, I am those people that is hard to find. He was very thankful because I was there with him during his down times. I denied, because I believe it wasn't me. But, I am someone who strongly believes in actions, and not words. Whatever he said has not been justified. I kept on telling him, is none of my business, I have done nothing and he doesn't need to sound like I am an Angel because I am certainly not. He insisted I am. But again, his actions is far from what he had said. Of course from that day til this very day, I do not believe.

There were so many things that had happened that I chose to keep silent. But, sometimes, things went overboard you just need to release your frustration, somehow. Coincidentally, this is just those few ones that I felt, at the moment. Too many things that only showed he took things for granted, nothing such as appreciation was showed.

Also, he did say things that you will wonder, what is his definition of friends. Probably, for him, friends are people you look for when you need help, when you need direction, when you need this, and need that. When you are not in trouble, you don't find friends, you find enemies. Right? I supposed. But anyhow, whatever I felt before remains, that he remains as a buddy, and probably after this, that status will be downgraded. So many things that is hidden until now, not wanting to say out, not wanting to comment further, but ... it has been long here, it needs to be expressed one day.

To be continued ...