Monday, June 29, 2009

Why did you ask if it is okay?

I always believe in one thing, keep to your words. Until today, I am still keeping to that belief. That is why also perhaps I always get frustrated with things, with people to be exact because they just don't. There is something in them, or maybe it's just me, that promises are always broken.

Did I put too high hopes on them? Are they simply just like that? Or am I wrong to have ... just .. principles. It is not just about personal life, besides that, the one starts with W, too, ends up the same. First of all, she agreed to my request, so I was kind of looking forward. Few days later, when I was all stressed up due to some challenge, she told me I was put with a different person instead. At that point of time, I don't care because I was stressed, remember. Fast forward, she showed the schedule telling me it's a different person now.

The funniest of all, why did she even ask if it is okay for her to put me with another person. If she can't, then why does she wanna say OKAY to be request in the first place. My frustration is not because I am put to another person, but the frustration lies in the part that she said okay. Later on, you tell me thousand and one reason why you wanna put me with that person. I don't need any reason or excuse thereafter. It that is your decision then just do it, I already felt so irritated. That's the end. And after all that fuss, she asked if it is okay. You gave me the opportunity to ask you back, you ... gave me the chance to question you. It's useless of asking me. Even if I am NOT okay, so? What can you do? You have decided, so what's the point of asking me. You know, what's the whole damn point. Just keep quiet and ignore because the more you say, the more screwed it will be.

You changed your mind just because some other whore told you this this and that and you followed without even backing up your own thoughts. Why? Who am I to say or question you. I shall keep quiet.

Having enough all this tense here, you have the guts to tell me not to bully him. Isn't it supposed to be the other way round. I am going to that place, not he coming to this place. You can only think of the advantages of your place but never the other. What do you mean by that, only you know. You are only afraid of people bullying your people. My supervisors have not said a single word or anything when the people from our side cross path. Now, I have not started, and you already said these kinda thing to me. How demotivated. If any problem occur in that 2 months, you only have got yourself to blame, listen, yourself.

This will be the end of words, until, 2 months later, or until the day I cannot stand it anymore. Til then, I bid goodbye.

It is not that I wanna change my category of things I blog, I seldom wanna blog bout work because it's boring, but, if there is frustration, it's best if I express it, here.

Port Dickson Trip Part 2

I am still down with flu. Yes, you read that right, flu. I didn't have it only yesterday, but I was caught with it on the day MJ passed away. o.O Yeah. I was feeling a tad uncomfy on my throat the day before and I just knew that I am so gonna have this flu the next day and I was so darn right. I understand myself so well :P It is now sore throat, flu, cough, a bit headache but seldom, minus fever and muscle pain or else it's that virus that has been spreading around these days.

So anyways with the dreaded entry bout PD trip, here it goes again


Adult pool

Almost 7am .. and two, one male, one female, slept together happily ignoring my alertness and could tell the whole world nothing's going on don't worry

That's just me, not us .. thanks, tell me there's only one person there, because I think I saw two more earlier but I couldn't now .. haha :P

That's the direction, this helps you to get around the hotel :D

Sunday, June 28, 2009

His legacy, Michael Jackson, will live on forever

It was 7.30 in the morning when I was at work, I saw an article printed out, on a piece of A4 paper. I read on, and I was so stunned when I read it. It was the passing of Michael Jackson. Never have I thought was real, I thought it was just a rumour, or a prank.

For decades now, he has contributed to the entertainment industry today and he was so influential that he was declared as "The King of Pop." He was a true performer, an incredible icon. I idolised him when I was growing up. Not that he is not good later on, but I stopped idolising artists, but I still admire him for his legacy, for his hardwork, his gift and everything that he has, besides him being obsessed with plastic surgery. He is a real inspirational artist.

Today, putting aside the differences, let all us put our hands together, expressing the sorrow and sadness, offering deepest condolences. The news was really tragical and devastating. It's a great loss to the world, with his upcoming global tour, just crashed.

In conclusion, perhaps, legends die early. Elvis Presley, John Lennon, Bruce Lee, Heath Ledger and now, Michael Jackson. All barely made to 50 and MJ is the only one. Some could not even make it to 30.

However, we should be glad that we are here, the same time as he was, in able to enjoy his music, his performance. Thank You for giving us the opportunity. There are just too many good things that will never come to an end. But I shall make this as simple as I can, to give a minute of silent in respect to the dead.

His legacy is unparallelled and will live on forever. He will always be missed, particularly to the entertainment industry. His music and MJ will always be here, no matter which century it is.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Flashback ...

Flashback of the past. It reminded me, how we were, hand in hand, the smile, the laughter.

How much have we grown apart in distance, in heart. Those times reflected the moment we shared together, things we did, things we said just brought back memories. We moved on with lives, but we still think about each other every now and then.

Nothing to regret, nothing to feel guilty about because that was how it was and it is how it is. There is still a level of understanding between us that I am glad we still do. It was a moment of time to think back, how much things had changed, how much have we both grown, in some ways or another, how much have we been through in our respective lives, without the other and that through all these experiences is what made us today.

We could only get stronger, and it is the difficult path that we gotta overcome, we become less paranoid, we have less fear and the person you see has a very tough mentality in within. You see a very cold and mean person in the surface but you do not know what is within in until you tear it open. That is a friendship that has, surprisingly, sustained until today. Even with the major difference in culture, distance, background, mentality, personality, being friends is a gift.

We could laugh it out talking about the past, how we were mad at each other, how we got irritated. But somehow, that's the past and nothing to be irritated now. Both had grown up in our own ways. Both of us know, if we need someone to talk to, the other is there.

Talking in dreams, one day, when we come closer in distance, we will go to a faraway land, a place where no humans know us, to enjoy, as much as we could, and ignore the surroundings. That is a fantasy land. But, it's not wrong to dream. Well, it's part of the whole experience, the memories. Dreams come true too, and you just do not know if it will occur and when. It happens when you least expect it. It's beyond what we see.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Port Dickson Trip Part 1

This is the entry I am dreading to blog about. I have a choice not to blog about this too of course but ... why do I have to refrain myself from blogging because of all these narcissist, right? But, I am putting all limits of aliens pictures. Yes, note my words, aliens. Don't ask me what happened, who, why, how, when. It just that, things are different from then. 4 people went, but it felt only 2 people, and the other two is what I put it as "keh leh feh" haha. It has been a few months since we went. We stayed in the 5 star hotel - first time. Called the Avillion. Really, it's really beautiful, but only if different people went. Haha.

This was taken from the hotel room. Omg. Such rare case to see so much greens.

Chalet. Nice.

Beautiful, beach.

There's also pet farm. Guests are able to feed the pet on certain days from 10am til 11am.

Whether was really burning hot. Jacuzzi in the pool.

I am putting very limited words, for PD posts only so ... if you don't understand me, I can't help it. HAHA.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

My tragedy - Sexual Harassment! OMFG

I wanna make this as clean as I can. I don't wanna swear. I don't wanna curse. But I'll try.

You know what dumbass? I don't care you are a sicko, you are a desperado, perverted ass, whichever it is, I don't care, it doesn't matter to me as long as you leave me alone and don't interfere in my life. I treat you as a guest, and I respect you as a guest and in turn, I expect the same from you, treat me as an employee of the hotel. I am not asking you to kowtow me. You asked the wrong person okay. I am not that kind you think I am. I didn't give you any bloody signage to say "come to me." I never did. I wasn't being overly friendly to you either. For Christ's sake, if you wanna sleep with some girls, go to the brothel, there are plenty of them, cheaper, and it comes in all sizes, shapes and colours. I got my own dignity, so offering me 500 bucks just to sleep with you for 15 minutes? Tsk tsk. My dignity cost much much more than that. You wouldn't be able to pay me even with your whole life's salary. I'm sure you don't want me cursing you of not being able to get married in your whole life and the generation ends in your hands. Hands off! You definitely get castrated later on. Who knows you will be burnt alive thereafter. So much for asking me to sleep with you. It's an ultimate insult to me, someone like me, OKAY! God Damn You! Yes YOU!

Do I have those words written or labelled on me "Hey Weirdos, welcome here". I am very sure I do not have that label on me, in whichever part of me that is. But why are weirdos just getting to me, being pretty much "attracted" to me in some way or another. Can somebody just explain to me why. I don't wanna be so "attractive" to weirdos, like seriously.

Can you just imagine that? Just me and him, in the room, and he asked me that question. I was so stoned, but of course I was still conscious to give him the answer right away "No, Sir, we don't provide such service" Is he just trying to be farney or something. I really could not believe my ears when I heard it. It's okay if you're balding and you smile sweetly at me. It's okay if you're old and useless and yet you ask for my number. But .. I certainly cannot accept a fat ass asking me to sleep with him. OMFG. He took it like as if easy come easy go. "Don't worry I will compensate you for that, I'll pay you 500 bucks let's just say 15 minutes" OMG!!!! It's a total insult to me OKAY! Do you know how expensive am I? VERY. Mofo to the max, bloody perverted fat idiotic moronic ASSHOLE!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Golf & Mike

You people know how much I love Thai songs. Well, the language too of course, except that I can't speak it. Haha. I have pictures of the ones I like. Golf & Mike. Oh Mein Gott! Dang. Why aren't Malaysian guys like that. I don't see this here. Just, why? See, I like guys. :D :D It's proven. If you think they look alike and something is wrong with your eyes, no worries because they are brothers. Nothing is wrong with your eyes.

I love their eyes. It's electrifying. LOL. Sawadee ka :D chan lak kun mak mak.

I attract weirdos


Guy: Hi, you're pretty busy today eh
Me: *smile* kind of hehe
Guy: You guys work on shift yea, so what time do you finish work
Me: Ah depends on the shift sometimes til 11pm or 1am or maybe 7am
Guy: Oh so your bf picks you up later on?
Me: Ah no, I drive
Guy: Do you have a bf?
Me: No *feels strange*
Guy: Are you sure? I can't believe
Me: Yeah .. whats wrong of not having a bf
Guy: Just hard to believe. Can I have ur number
Me: Haha for security reason, we don't give out numbers
Guy: If you don't tell nobody knows
Me: No .. really sir, we are really not allowed to *give him my sweetest smile I could*
Guy: okay

So in the end you only want my number. I am so naive I can't believe that.

1. I'm 25 this year. You're 41. Age matters.
2. I am an employee. You are a guest. Status matters.
3. I am a female. You are a male. Gender matters.
4. I am Malaysian. You are Singaporean. Nationality matters.
5. My hair has volume. You are balding. Volume of hair matters.
6. I live at home. You stay in hotels. Location matters.
7. I am average. You are short. Height matters.
8. I love mamak. You go to restaurants. Lifestyle matters.

HAHA ... so yea, I don't have funny interest with er ... older people, like much older. Yes they have experiences, life experiences to be exact, and I do admire and salute them for that. Me, is considered small kiddo for them. Why are people so farney. I think my friends are right. I always attract weirdos. Full stop. And ... I know I can't say anything because they are right.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Langkawi Trip Day 4 : Goodbye

I have finished my graveyard shift but I am working late shift, so I gotta work with some narcissist Angels. Initially it didn't annoy me, but these days they are just getting more and more irritating. I know I know, back to that topic. That two Angels. Yes they are, and I shall be the Devil, I have absolute no problem with that. I love being a Devil, as always. Yes, people are so loving you know, I shouldn't disturb and interfere. As much as people do not wanna care, it has started getting on people's nerves. And I am not even talking bout myself. But then again, I will keep all these to myself for this post haha, as this is meant for Langkawi.

Look at that, we have planned it and done it. Yes that spa we did in Oriental something in Kuah Town. Food yea during dinner we walked out and had something in that Oriental Restaurant. Shopping we did it before massage. We went to the beach after dinner and started drinking. However, we did not get drunk. It's okay we have other days to get drunk

It's time to be a bitch babe. HAHA. We miss Fufu, the ultimate Biatch :P the flower boy girl. These 2 days we went to the beach not for sun tanning, but more like moon tanning haha

We planned for island hopping, which is an activity there. HAHA since that drinking the nite before doesn't help us to be awake early, we decided to go to the island, to the beach, and start hopping, so it's considered done HAHA. We went looking for the so-called biggest shopping mall. Umm .. and when we did that going around town just to search for it, we kept on bumping into this angmo couple who rented a car too HAHA. It's just farney. It's always them and them hehe. This time, it's real sun tanning. Just few hours of sun, I got roasted and I did not even put any tanning oil to begin with.

This is the last day of the trip. We woke up and be a bitch for the last time before bidding goodbye and of course that is not all. We went for chocolate shopping. And that's it. We are back to KL. Hi KL we miss you but we don't miss you that much as it's not enough there in Langkawi.

In the bus on the way back from LCCT to KL Sentral where my limo pick up is there

Monday, June 8, 2009

Hanky & Panky: Being together

When you're alone, I'm fine with it, but ... even that, we could not go any further from just being working colleagues. I don't want that, and I'm sure, or rather not, you don't want either.

What piss me off is when both of you are together. It's just sore to my eyes. Call me jealous freak, call me whatever you want because I don't freaking care. The presence of the two of you together just irritates the hell out of me. I might not show it, or I might knowing myself well enough, but ... can you both just work and stop being so idiotic. You can have the world of your own, nobody else around you, after work.

Listen, it's not the end of the world. So, you don't have to be just here just because your other half is here and in return, people just get so pissed with you. You don't have to do anything really, you just have to be here, together, and automatically, people are so frustrated with you. Tsk tsk, what have you done to deserve this you wonder eh. Loads that I just don't think is worth mentioning of anymore. I don't care and I don't wanna know. If you think whatever you had done is right, then well, you won everything. You said everything and well, who am I to say anything.

Silence ... everything between us is nothing but silence .... it's unbreakable ... you know what. After work, you could do anything together, without the fuss of others, nobody is gonna say anything. So, why not .. wait for the other half at home or somewhere else besides here, because it just gets on people's nerves.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Hair .. trim

I had a hair cut the other day, yea ... finally after 3-4 months. Yes, the previous time I cut was THAT short haha.

Unfortunately of all days when I decided to go for a cut, Vincent also decided to take MC. Sigh. Instead, Bryan cut for me. =.=

How I wish I could have any style that I want, and could, then I will go for punk spiky or along that line. But again, the industry I am in don't allow me to do that. So the unfortunate.

Since that Vincent is not there, I just trimmed my hair and didn't cut. So .. it looks the same, besides that it's thinner now, layered and the back is shorter. That's it that's why er ... can't really sense the difference if you don't notice me well enough HAHA.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Simple Plan - Your Love Is A Lie

There are just so many things that could possibly happen to date. There is nothing we can say it won't happen. There is nothing we can say it surely happens. Promises will remain as promises. Pledges will remain as pledges. What is being said does not mean what is being done. Things these days are so complicated, unlike generations before, everything was so simple, so straightforward. Today, you get people cheating on each other, lying, and all those along that line. Sometimes, how we wish that things can get a little bit simpler. What is at the surface doesn't mean what is happening. We do not know what is it, or how it feels like, until we are those involved in it. Anyways, I love this song. For this, I dedicate this for those who got cheated. I have always liked Simple Plan coz of their lyrics and of course not to mention the rhythm. It's all about social problems that occur now. It's all about troubles that we go through and some of them are exactly describes how I felt.

"Your Love Is A Lie"

I fall asleep by the telephone
It's 2 O'clock and I'm waiting up alone
Tell me where have you been?
I found a note with another name
You blow a kiss, but it just don't feel the same
Cause I can feel that you're gone

I can't bite my tongue forever
While you try to play it cool
You can hide behind your stories
But don't take me for a fool

You can tell me that there's nobody else
(But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself
(But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know
Your love is just a lie
It's nothing but a lie

You look so innocent
But the guilt in your voice gives you away
Yeah you know what I mean
How does it feel when you kiss when you know that i trust you
And do you think about me when he fucks you?
Could you be more obscene?

So dont try to say you're sorry
Or try to make it right
Don't waste your breath because it's too late, it's too late.

You can tell me that there's nobody else
(But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself
(But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know, I know,
Your love is just a lie
It's nothing but a lie
You're nothing but a lie

You can tell me that there's nobody else
(But I feel it)
You can tell me that you're home by yourself
(But I see it)
You can look into my eyes and pretend all you want
But I know, I know
Your love is just a lie
I know you're nothing but a lie

Your love is just a lie

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Questions and Decisions

Can I believe what I saw yesterday?
Am I too quick to pass a judgement on that whole scenario?
When is at the surface might not be what really is happening. It is really like what it is?
Am I rational enough to see that whole situation?
Should I wait and see?
Or should I not?
What should I do now?
Is it really like how it seem to be?
Who is it?
Can I trust?
When did it happen?
And where?
How long should I wait and see?

Time for decisions, and decisions ... ahhh.

Monday, June 1, 2009

I graduated

After one month of cross exposure, I am finally done with it and the most dreaded has yet to come if you think I have already pass that path.

One month seem fast, but the one month with the other one that I am so dreaded to go will not past as fast as this. Politics there are much much worse. Perhaps, it's only one or two bad apples there, one or two *H---E* there, one or two that I didn't wanna work with or see, but it's enough to mentally torture me. But, that one or two is good enough to ruin everything.

At least the one I graduated from, my stomach is happy. People that seem so bad to work with became ... someone acceptable. People that seem nice to work with at the beginning might not be that nice when you actually do. I am not saying anything, this is just generally speaking :) I didn't know how the people are initially but .. in the end of the day, I could accept it. But to tell you the truth, one part of me is happy going back home, but the other part is quite reluctant, knowing the fact that I gotta see some members of the Swine Club there, is just so demotivating.

However, the one I am going to, I can't say anything to motivate myself. I can just say Good Luck and Viel Gluck. There is nothing else I could do. I know how they are as I work closely with them for almost 2 years now. I just know when they become my so-called superior later, things will look bad. There are certain species, well, in this case I use species, not individuals, that do not know how to talk and is very gila kuasa. Haha ... yea that's the term, gila kuasa. Yup yup, so crazily over the power that species has. Too bad, first of all, learn how to talk, in a right way, with your immediate superiors, or with your seniors. If that alone you can't do, what makes you think you have that capability to go up? :) Think again. Some creatures they just gotta show how powerful they are and all. But sorry weirdo, I don't give a damn.

I'm sorry but I'm not sorry. Ah before I pen off, I shall say this "OMG! OMG! OMG! So Lurve-ly! I know lately people had been describing my FB status as sarcastic, but ... haha .. I don't think I am that sarcastic yet. Well .. what to do, creatures are made in Heaven! They are not a pair without reason, you know! Yes, that's the one I am dreading off, these .. tsk. Nvm. Ta.