Friday, December 31, 2010

Jan-Dec 2010

Today is already December the 31st, the last day of 2010, which has been declared a public holiday nationwide due to the victory of the Malaysian team against Indonesia, which we won 4-2 on aggregate. It's something still very cynical to me. But, it's awesome because it means I have another day off and I love it. Let's just recap what happened throughout this year. This year, is the year that had the most changes in my life in these 3 years at least.

January
Thoughts after thoughts, deep contemplation, discussions, I finally handed my resignation letter to Cindy. I remembered I was night shift, she came in at 7am. I waited til nobody was at the office, I handed the letter, I left. Hyung knew it, one of the first few to know. Dede handed in the afternoon to Gavin, yes on the same day we did. It's the first ever time I met Jyun in person after years in MSN. haha.

February
It's Chinese New Year and I was not happy. Every year, I request AM shift. This year, I had the worst ever nightmare, that it was so tragic, I felt so bitter. I had AM shift on the eve, and later on, I was put in PM shift, followed by 5pm shift. Do you know this was SO frustrating? Why do people take things for granted when I tried to be nice to you? On February 27th, it was my last day serving that hotel, and I walked out as a free person, do anything that I like thereafter. I found out about Michael's existence.

March
I went with three others, Hyung, Gongkia and Aboeji went up to Gunung Nuang and spent the nite there. Just within that few days before that, I went up to PD for a night with Omma and family, which has not happened before. It's a record really. It was Matta Fair, I will have the time of my life with that flight I bought from there. It was in March they announced that Nampyeon will be in that new movie, but til now, no news no nothing. Usagi-ssi and Jay resigned too. It was hard adjusting my life.

April
I had my dream realized. It was to go to Korea. This is the country I will go again and an agreement has been made, I will go again in 2012 with friends this time. Dede, Snail and me went up to Genting just to enjoy the wind and drink one or two. I went for my first make-over that I got forced into. Coincidentally, I had a wedding dinner to attend to, so bravo. That loser is back to harass me. 780 beautiful pictures from Korea is gone.

May
It's a very depressing month whereby on the 27th, Toby left us for good, but he had remained in our hearts and loved for a lifetime. It's getting annoying, to be going from one interviews to another and not getting a job. This time, I got in Hartamas, I got employed. I was happy, more like relief, finally. I started the work, but I will not last long there, I knew it. It's a maid agency, people went jaw dropping the moment they found out. A public figure told me not to be stuck in that kinda place because that's not where my full potential is. My full potential will be at CS, and not admin work, so find a better one that suit me better.

June
Nampyeon had another digital single. I love it. Second time of the year, and over the advises of EVERYONE, I tendered from that current post. I was just not happy there.

July
I went for a very last minute holiday to Krabi with SP and Meow. I had a new-foound-hated enemy there called jelly fish. I got stung, it became rash, scar and now permanent. I will hate jelly fish for life. Dede's birthday she had her birthday party BBQ at her house. I got very annoyed with the host of that 2 countries for his interviews there.

August
It's his birthday. Saranghae. Nothing can happen better than this. This is something that I only watch in dramas. Never that I know, miracle happens. I started my current job.

September
My birthday, ended up in karaoke. I broke my alcohol drought for 2 months. That night, I touched alcohol again, and it went on for every single week for 2 months. It was this month I watched Step Up 3, immediately the next day, I went to find a dance school and I found one that I stick with it until now. I love it. Life is just beautiful each time I go for classes. Happy Chuseok Day!

October
It's the Halloween, also the drinking month. For the first time of my life, I went for a Korean showcase. It's not just another boy band you think. It's no other than the legendary G-O-D called JYJ. How awesome, how hawt they are in live performance. Everything about them is just so beautiful. It was 17th then, I can still remember very vividly how the hour went on. I enjoyed every second, every passing second, and this, I will not forget in my lifetime. That dude finally got married, with the girl he has been speculated with for the past few years that he denied all the way. We heard the truth, dude.

November
It's the Thanksgiving Day, people should be grateful. More turkeys please. I despise him, the guy that I believe is not a nice guy and my friend deserves someone better. He made her so upset, and I despise him now. It's the 2nd year anniversary since her passing, that Little Angel. The dramas has been released, the date was 8th Nov. Gomawoyo. Gor's first daughter was born. Chukhahae!

December
I dread when I heard that I gotta attend a Christmas Exchange Party with colleagues in a mamak. How awesome. This is the only time I dread to the very end. All I wanted was just to go home, and not there. My soul isn't with me that night. The last day of 2010 was declared a public holiday due to the victory of the Malaysian football team. A night at Bukit Tinggi, with both pillow and blanket fight.

So, that was how my year went by in 2010. How was yours

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Merry Christmas 2010!

It's still not too late to wish ... still within that 12 days of Christmas =p

It's already the end of the year, so let's all put all of our hands together, to wish and hope for a better year in 2011. It has been quite a rollercoaster ride in 2010 and now, we shall put all the negative ones behind in 2010 and bring the positive ones to 2011.

Maeri Christmas everyone ... and oh yes, Happy Boxing Day too!!! It's sad that Boxing Day is equivalent to zero here.

This year, we had a very peaceful laid-back celebration, unlike years before this, whereby, it's all about parties. Oh no, age. Anyways, Merry Christmas hehe.

Monday, December 20, 2010

What If?

Every now and then, I have this What If thought in me. What if one day, when I ber-mamak suddenly I bump into the Angel. What if one day when I go shopping, I bump into it. What if one day, I go partay, I bump into it. That doesn't give me the best feeling in the world, but it doesn't give me the worst feeling either.

It's true that I do not wanna be related and associated with it in any way, at all cost. But, if it so happens to be there where I am, there is nothing I can do either. The worst is to be disgusted with it, but of course, I think that will be a great entertainer as well. I will not leave because it's there. I will not choose to go elsewhere just because it's there. I don't see a point that my life should be affected because of a petty species like it.

It can be your best ever friend in this entire universe, but it does not mean it can be mine too. We can never be. I know too, that it's a desperate species, that whatever that has been done is very uncalled for.

So yes, I don't know what will I do if that one day really comes. Not like it didn't. It happened before many years back and even back then, I could not recognize it as, the changes was so huge. It looked so haggard then. I recognized the person next to it. Obviously, I will greet the person next to it. Yes, I mean it as next to. Nowadays, I don't even know if I will do the same bloody thing. I doubt it nevertheless. I guess I will just do what I'm best at. I admit this though, I am really good at ignoring.

If you wonder why am I using the subject as It, because it's a specimen. A specimen does not belong to a male, nor a female, can be both. Hence, IT.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Purpose of Celebration

Christmas is again around the corner. I thought it was just January yesterday. How can time flies just like that? The speed of time is getting more and more ridiculous. Don't you feel so? I'm nearing 30. OMG! Can I turn back the clock to be 23 again? :(

Every year, no matter where am I, we just do have the Christmas exchange gift huh? I'm talking about work. Yeah, we gotta exchange Christmas presents among colleagues. It's not by choice, it's by force. It really defeats the purpose if most of them are doing it for the sake of doing it, just because you say everyone has to do it. Christmas is all about sincerity, giving. But, when it's not from the heart, what is the whole point of having Christmassy feeling? What's the whole point of buying presents and exchanging it? It's really meaningless. So, you see, all have all those super happy mood to exchange gifts ... maybe I don't know, then all of a sudden, they say, budget is this certain amount per person and that location wise is where you and I will go for supper, stall. You wanna celebrate but where is the turkey? haha. But, I can only smell Mee Goreng. haha.

How sincere it is when you have spent only 5 minutes choosing the gift, because it had reached your budget? This is the most efficient ever shopping I had in my entire life when buying for presents. Last year, I spent one whole day for just one person's Christmas present, and I spent 5 times more than this amount I did today. Usually I get very stressed up for cracking my head up down centre middle ... this time, I don't even feel a pinch. Does it say something already? Perhaps.

I don't know why am I feeling that dreadful feeling so badly. Not like I have to pay for the meal or something, but I'm not liking the whole idea I guess? Last year was considered a grand celebration compared to this year, seriously.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

She Chose This Path

Someone told me something about an ex-classmate the other day. I have not seen her since we left school. I just have the tendency to lose contact with my secondary mates, and I love it haha. Oops, did I just type that out? Oh I did.

She was saying that she and her very good friend once upon a time had a very huge issue between them. So, the question was, why and what happened? I think this is the most stupid ever thing than can happen. It's because of one pathetic guy. The guy apparently liked her friend, but she liked him. Feelings are not something like "oh you like me? ok i will like you too." The girl that the guy liked stepped back to allow her friend to have it her way because to begin with, she didn't have any feelings for him. I was then told that because of that, she had parted ways with that very good friend, and that they are no longer friends since then? OH MY? Can people be more pathetic than that? I can't imagine. I can't believe. Since that fateful day, she changed from being the good girl, to join the company of the rascal group, became someone who drinks and smokes very heavily, someone you can never imagined she would be.

They kept on saying, she will change one day, she will change back to the person she once was. It's either they are being too optimistic or they are just painfully in self-denial. She will not. In other words, she was blaming the unhappiness to that other people. Doesn't she know happiness is in her own hands, her destiny lies in herself. How can you blame others for all these petty things? It's a matter of fact that negative influence is much more tempting that positive influence. Admit it. They kept on saying, they will be there for her if she needs them. Screw it, she will not. If you people are really people she consider as friends, she will not even walk out from your life.

All these whole chaos had proven it. It proved just one thing. A guy is more important than the friendship you had built for so many years. There's no sign of re-building it. It becomes nil. So much for a friendship aye? Just forget about it and move on. Why do you people wanna care and concern for her when she herself had pulled out herself from your life? Yeah I know as a friend those should and shouldn't things. There are limits, if you see no hope in that person and is totally out of cure, leave it, leave her alone. Don't sound like you're a Saint that's all. You don't have to complicate your life just because of a past memory. There's nobody who is right nor wrong. Remember, she chose this path to follow. For how she lives now, she was the one who made this decision, happy or sad, it's her. Nobody needs to judge her, because in the end, she's the one feeling it, it has nothing to do with you, or me. Don't give yourself a fake hope she will come back one day, she will not. Her acting this kinda way has proven everything you need to know. Nobody is forcing her, she is doing all these out of her own will. How one person deals with things reflect what kinda person she is already. Must I say more?

You don't even have to feel that her life is wasted like that. This is the most ever stupid reason that a girl can turn the back against her very own good friend. Guys are the same, if you turn your back against each other just because a girl, ask yourself if it's really worth it. It will not. Trust me. At 18, don't you know what's right and wrong? Well, that's her life.