Monday, September 19, 2011

A year passed

Just a blink of an eye, more than a year had passed by, ever since I got an attack that made me suffered from a so-called incurable disease. I used to have a normal leg, without any disease, that I can wear shorts freely without a need to worry that my legs will look fugly or whatever.

July 2010 onwards, I could not even bear to take a look at my own legs anymore. I felt so disabled and fugly. I tried various and numerous methods, each possible ways that at least can make it look least visible than it already was. The only thing I could ask for back then was just to make it a little milder and subtle, that's the most I could even ask. Even that, nothing succeeded. It did not even get a little better, in fact it got worst when I applied the doctor's cream. I don't know how many cream I tried on, applied on, and until at one point, I got so sick of all these cream application I gave up, I literally gave up. I stopped wearing short pants, and bare in mind, not even mid-length shorts. I did not leave my house without a long pants for God knows how long.

The amount of creams I bought was so many that I can open a mini pharmacy. I did not want to give myself anymore hope that it will be back to normal. I gave my last try, a skin specialist. He did not help much either. He just told me to be patient and that I should be fortunate to even sitting in front of him alive. He said it really depends, it takes from a few months up to years. My heart dropped but at the same time, perhaps I should be glad that at least there's a hope even though it takes a few years. That was at the end of last year.

Looking back of those legs ... I feel so happy .. like beyond happiness now that my leg might not be back to how it was ... but it's not visible enough for people to notice if I don't point that out. I put my lotion every single day for consecutive few months, tried putting even mask on it before. All those effort and hard work paid off tremendously.

My distorted legs

Omg ... It's a year I should celebrate Thanksgiving Day. This time, really, thank God. It was a traumatic year really. The nights that I kept dreaming of my normal legs were uncountable. At least now, it's more than what I could ever imagined one year ago.

No comments: