Learn to trust

I actually don't understand jealousy. People frequently tell me that it's good to have a little but not too much. I always think to myself, I thought it's either it's there or it isn't. If it's there, it just means terror and horror. To me, it just really means that person, be it girl or guy, is insecure and wants to take control of your life.

Do you know what's attractive? One of the characteristic is being open minded and not jealous. That is, by my own belief, IS attractive. This jealousy issue is affecting many couples out there. In this time and age, it's overly common and I get all the statements all the time saying, single life is really great. Now, the more I wanna be how I have always been. haha.

It may start with just being jealous, and it will eventually lead to being possessive towards the partner. This trait is so so ugly. A girl, a guy, both are the same, it's freaking ugly, being loathsome.

In the first place, why be jealous? It's because of your own insecurities. It's because you just don't trust your partner. Why don't you wanna trust your partner? Did something happened? By hook and by crook you cannot trust your partner, why are you guys still together? Isn't a relationship there based on trust? If there's no trust, what is the whole meaning of this? You're not a cop, and your partner isn't a criminal.

Jealousy creates a long list of problems. That is the core problem. It leads to many other things. Just because your partner is jealous does not mean that you have or need to stop doing things that you like. If you have a jealous bf who is jealous of all your friends, does this mean that you need to change your lifestyle and stop seeing your friends? I bet you will go insane after awhile. A work life and him life? No way. Do not conform to appease him or her.

I always believe that you cannot force anyone to do anything, absolutely. If that person has the heart with you, he or she will stay, be loyal no matter what. You don't have to stop that person and keep on checking. If the heart isn't there anymore, you will not be able to stop your partner from doing what he or she does.

I have found a quote from an article that just illustrated and portrayed what I feel.

“Relationships — of all kinds — are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold on to some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”

The more you hold on to someone, the tighter it feels, the less oxygen one gets and that leads to suffocation. Being possessive won't change anything, except, more issues occur. Instead of having a peaceful happy life, it's all about stress, issues, arguments and may then lead to bitterness and then resentment. Perhaps, some people are naturally jealous. But, it is how you act upon it. Don't ever allow these attributes dominate you.

Let's put it this way, if the relationship is meant and fated to be, it somehow will happen. Otherwise, that is not the one meant for you. Base line, learn to trust.