Monday, September 23, 2013

Rest In Peace, April @ September 21st, 2013

It has been a very tragic weekend. It took me days before I can really take the truth that slaps upon my face. I know this day will eventually come but when it did, I just fell into depression right away. It's not something I can come in terms with.

This is my second time I fell into depression. The first one was in 2010 when Toby left us and we lost him to stomach cancer. This time, though we know that she wasn't suffering that much only on the last few days, it's all natural that it's something very hard to believe and accept. When Toby left, at least I still had April to hold me on. Now, I got nobody. Okay, let's not talk about humans, that's a different thing.

Anyway, it's very very difficult to accept it. And the result of it? I lost 2-3 kgs over the weekends only. It was really that bad. It was a major blow to my life. I hope that people will understand it, not to say or mention so much in front of me. It's really suffocating. Of course, for obvious reason, it's really heartbreaking and painful to accept the truth. Considering it already to be in that situation, I'll appreciate it if you don't mention it completely until at least months later. I know I have to accept it and let it out like some of you say it, but it's not as easy as that.

I know too that my great friends are always there to support me but time will heal. Please allow that to happen. Let me be the way I am. I know you guys mean well, but it's very fresh. I will be able to pick myself up soon and I am already in progress recovering.

Last but not least, it's my birthday soon. Which also means that I am not going all the way out to celebrate. No candles, definitely not. Thank you. :)

April, I miss you already muacks <3>

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