Do you feel safe anymore?

Over the years, being home, I have taken safety for granted. I took precautions, whenever I traveled, I had friends with me except when I flew solo. But, nothing too extreme because I felt safe (at least for the most part). 

For the last 2 and a half years in Seattle, from summer to the winter, especially post Covid, things have changed so much. I visited here 4 times before I moved here. I am aware of how things are in downtown because when I visit, I took the bus to wherever I wanted to go. 

There is a misconception that the homeless people wouldn't disturb random people, attack, or act aggressively. I knew that I am not an exception and who knows, something would happen. I came here in spring 2023 and how was I shocked when I saw the amount of homeless people. 

But, there was one incident that left me traumatized and put my guards really high up when I see someone walking on the road. Because, that person might be dangerous. That one day came when all I wanted to do was to take the bus to my gym. I walked to the bus stop and I heard someone yelling how someone wanted to murder him. Just a glance, you know he's no longer sane. It's a pity, but my safety was the utmost priority at that point. He has already seen me at that time. He had a really big and solid stick with him and before I could think about anything, he came running towards me, wanted to strike me with that stick. And, he did. But, because I anticipated that, I ran as fast as I could if I did not wanna die. My mind was clouded if I would even make it out alive. All these happened in a public place, broad day light. 

Are people not safe to take public transport anymore? I feel that my already traumatized view on the world has been damaged even more now. The only damage control and mitigation plan I could really do now is to take pepper spray with me and try to avoid infamous places. ;)

Still, a beautiful city despite the walking dead vibe we get sometimes. 

It's about 'me'

I have met way more people in the past. As I got older, my circle is getting smaller and smaller and eventually, I think it will all fizzle off. Have you ever come across someone who talks all about themselves and nothing else? I have, more than I would like to in both genders.

I am currently watching Later Daters, it is about a show of people between the ages of 56 and 70, have been single for awhile and would like to get back into the dating world but do not how to. Some of them have been single for 15 years, so it's been a long time. How do people even date anymore?

I have been on dating app before, have been around people from my circle too. There are people out there who just love to talk about themselves, how great they are, the world revolve around them. There was this lady who did not ask any question during the date, so by the end of it, she does not know anything about her date. That's her coping mechanism when she is nervous. Well, I can understand at a certain point people act this way, but not all the time.

There are people who act like that because they suffer from insecurities, or they have some sort of inferiority complex. Looking back at the friendships I had, there are those who have gone wrong due to character, or some were just prioritization. I knew this one guy who had to boost himself, from how much he earned, right until his travels. They are either lack of confidence, they have no value that they have to resort in doing this, or they have underlying problems. But, that isn't my concern.

I had some female friendships too, who I knew a lot about them but they do not know much about me. All because I kept asking the questions, and they happily talked about themselves, including things that are supposed to be private and personal.

Perhaps, regardless the stage they are in, whether in the 30s or 40s, they had enough time to know themselves better and to know how to navigate through life. However, knowing the Millennial generation being like this, it is just sad to know they are lack of self-awareness and the general awareness. It is a crucial part of self-discovery to reflect of what happened, what went wrong and what can be done better. That is how we improve as human beings. Throwing all your emotions to your friends isn't the greatest idea, knowing that they are not a therapist, yet them trying to be a good friend to listen to your problem, yet taking advantage of doing it all the time, isn't the best thing one can do.

We are different, but when I have a problem, I do not throw this burden on a friend to listen to me all the time. I process the problems and feelings on my own, whether in my own thoughts, or by written expressions. It is vital for anyone to find their own ways to express, without burdening much on others. Unless, you engaged a therapist, then sure, do all you have to do because that's their profession. Listening to problems everyday would eventually bring negativity to you. We are surrounded with energy, so it is pivotal to remain positive energy around you. Having the negative vibe will just drown you one day. That's what I learned, and today, we are no longer friends because we have different belief systems, different values, and I realized, I was drowning. I should not carry a burden that is not supposed to be mine.

Goodbye -vid

It's such boring topic talking about Covid, with the variants until Omnicron now. But, it's necessary. We just need to be aware of what is happening in the world, if we should be worried sick or just accept it.

The other day, or some day, I got to know that I was a close contact just before the new update from the government. The answer to confirm all of this used to be a PCR test, not anymore as the time of this writing.

The next morning after I know I was a close contact, I did a self-test. I have been doing this on off when the price was still RM19.90. It's so cheap now, it's good to have a few kits kept at home though I know it's not mandatory anymore. Not mandatory doesn't mean that we can't do it. We just have to do what is right for the sake of ourselves, for the sake of the community.

Very simple instruction to follow by. Yes people, it looks just like a pregnancy test. So no, no Baby Rona for me this time as well. I am a free person. Am I? Not really. 

I still did PCR test twice. It may not detect the virus if you do it on the very first day. I did it on the 4th day since exposure and the 2nd time was on the 9th day. Both came out as negative. Awesome! That was also the last day of my quarantine.

Now, we have people walking about on the streets despite being positive as the virus is weaker now. Is this the end of the pandemic? Perhaps so and let's hope it is. We just gotta accept that this is the way of life now. Having said that, if you are positive, please stay home. Let's be a better nation and be responsible.

Those above 60, please still proceed to CAC to get yourselves assessed or those with comorbidities if you are required to be warded. 

Above all of these, I hope that this is the end of the pandemic and we see some light in the end of the tunnel. I truly hope so. We are all tired.

Staycation @ Kuala Kubu Bharu

We have been waiting for a staycation for the longest time. It has been a long wait. We planned all in April to go in May. But, that was the time our country hit rock bottom. The Covid situation was so bad that we had to cancel all plans to stay home. I mean, I know I am blessed to have a job and everything. But, that was also the very same time our family was hit with a tragedy.

Anyway, after a very long wait, no cancelation policy, and with us all started our jobs, we have to go somehow. Only the few of us made it in the end. But it was better than ever. It's a much needed getaway. It's a challenge to get everyone together. These guys I went with were people that I have worked with. How often can you say, hey I hang out with my colleagues. It happens more now because, how else do we meet people right. I don't believe in "I don't hang out with my colleagues because I need to separate colleagues and friends." I've heard that from someone. You do you.

Pondering Introvert's fresh start in the morning before departing KL. Yay, it's finally happening!

Welcome to Kuala Kubu Bharu! Cleanse your organ. We arrived at 1-ish and check in was 3pm. It's a private area so they don't allow us to enter. I didn't understand why he couldn't let us in but once I got there, I understood why. There's no common area where we all park our cars. No, it's literally just the villa all by yourselves. 

Imagine having champagne in this pool here, haha. It's not to swim of course haha. So the brick walls on the left and right, it's one room each on both sides.

After soaking in the pool, get all ready for the BBQ. I didn't take any pictures of the BBQ, the amount of food we had simply because, I was hangry! I had no time for that but just, gobble up the food! Yums. And blessed. What a lovely night.

The very next day, Hello, Good morning world! I've been in KL my whole life and no, we don't have fresh air. It was so nice to breathe some fresh air once in awhile.

Laying on this hammock lookalike under the tree. How can it get better than this? It's been awhile I haven't been in tune with nature. 

Stopped by at nearby town. People stopped here for this. It's really just this. haha.

Loved the vintage feel of this town. It isn't far from KL but this kind of primitive vibe cannot be found in KL anymore. I appreciate stuff like this. It's priceless. And, it's clean! 

Finally, a short video on a stroll in the villa.

 

It was a really nice, needed getaway. The caretaker there has been nothing short of fantastic. This villa can fit up to 10 pax. It might just be 2 bedrooms there but there were extra beds available. We went in a group of 6 and we were all very comfortable, including those that slept on the extra bed. It isn't just a mattress, it's a pull out bed.

Nice break from the bustling city life. Most importantly, you get to spend time with family and friends, or friends like family. They even have board games available, but bring your own. Of course, you gotta go with the right people. This place is mostly occupied, so if you wanna go, book it much earlier. We managed to book the night as we went on a Sunday. 

So, we ate, we laughed, we played games, we talked, then off to bed. haha. Thank you for making this happen.

Punctuality in MY

Punctuality is a joke here.

So we all know how Malaysians are when it comes to timing. Punctuality is so important. So important that it has a deeper meaning to it, such as, respect towards time, respect towards the other person.

I'm less fortunate that this is inborn with me, that I grew up adhering to the time so much that at times, it does me no good. During my early adulthood, I had to put up with ridiculous timing from some people, friends mostly. Are they still my friends? I guess. What have changed? Nothing much except that I don't meet them one on one anymore.

Since my major was in the hospitality industry, I was trained well during those few years to get my degree. Timing is no joke. For some lecturers, being on time equals to being late.

But, why? Why are people always late?

I have very painful experience waiting for people. It went up to hours before. How did I feel? Like shit.

In all honesty, I am not super early to an appointment either. I'm just few minutes early. But, I end up waiting 30 minutes, 1 hour that sort of thing. 

Are people apologetic?

Mostly no. 

So, why do people promise something they cannot keep?

I don't know, I hope someone can enlighten this one day. Perhaps, they want to be included in everything. It's okay to decline an appointment, it's alright to say no. But, it's not right to agree to an appointment and you're late, all the time. It gets so frustrating that the thought of unfriending came up. I have taken a break from a friendship because of this, a couple of times.

So, I have made a tremendous improvement on my response if people are late compared to 10 years ago. I used to flare up, I used to flip. But now? It's not that I don't care anymore, but let's just say that I'm going out much lesser these days (apart from Covid) and that telling the same person again and again the same thing? I don't feel good too. In the end, I just choose where to go and who I go with. If these people whose hobbies are being late? Either meet me nearby my house, or let's just continue what we do and not meet each other. That's the best way to live. 

Either one has to change. If none can change, let's not meet. Everyone will be happy. Win-win in the end.

Respect is so valuable these days. Do not take advantage, and earn it.

Just because everyone is doing it here, we should not normalize it. It's wrong, it's wrong in so many levels. Learn to be better, learn to be punctual. 

Day 2 (Part1): Siem Reap July 5th, 2015

After such a long hiatus, it's about time the Siem Reap's photos should be up.

So, after yesterday's circus, which was still very fresh in my mind when I woke up, we had to go to the next itinerary. It's the sun rise in Angkor Wat. I mean, that's the whole purpose we were there right.

How can you not love this place? It's such a beauty.

So, everyone else did the same. Woke up at 4 ish to wait for the sun rise. Not cool. But anyways. haha. I don't even get up this early to work.

Tadaaa the egg yolk has finally showed itself. It is around mid March to end up March, the sun is aligned right above the Angkor Wat. But, that's also the reason why during that time, everyone would be there for the same reason. Siem Reap will be packed.

Finally, the sun is shining up above us. It's time to go home, not. It's time to get into Angkor Wat. The main temple. Get ready for lots and lots of walking to do under the hot sun.

Things are so much easier when you have a local friend to bring you around. Trust me, it's way easier. Just that, didn't think that we'll be meeting in Siem Reap. haha.

See, the Angkor Wat and the temples around there has been there for eons. There was no concrete evidence on the history. It's all based on beliefs. Probably, it's time to make a trip there before all their stones fall, like the picture above. One by one, it's falling.

That's actually a pool during the olden days. Before us, there was a photoshoot session. OMG seriously you people.

Socially Awkward

There are socially awkward people around. Or even, ourselves, are sometimes caught in this situation too.

Generally, if majority of the time, one feels that way, then most probably they are. I don't know how they feel, or should I say, if people see you as one, and majority of them do, then most probably you are. Some are more serious, and some not so.

We tend to get awkward in some social settings, but that doesn't mean you are a socially awkward person in general terms. Maybe, it's just for that. But, if you are consistently feeling that way all the time, then it's time to get yourself checked.

I have come across one, that I am very much convinced he falls into this category. He comes out as having a weird behavior.

I find this person so weird. With the same type of conversation, one is socially awkward and one is not, it's so difficult to carry on a conversation with the socially awkward person. It's really very difficult, to not get annoyed. Maybe, it's his ways of talking or having a conversation but it's not something acceptable to me.

This person would ask me a question, after he has the response, he will go on and on about explaining the answer you gave. Really, what's the point? Then, why not, ask the question, answer it on behalf, and then explain it too in 10 or 30 minutes. It leaves that other party speechless. The outcome? They probably will just wanna walk out.

Maybe, they should know how to structure their sentences, the questions to ask, so basically the topic of conversations. There's no conversation flow, and it's certain it doesn't flow naturally at all.

If someone tells you that they don't have time to text you or reply you and they only reply important messages, that is sufficient to know the person doesn't want to be communicating with you any longer. If that person seldom responds to your text messages and all are 1-2 worded replies, what does it say? What took you so long? Most importantly, there's no connection. For a normal person, they would have stopped and left. Sometimes, it's entertaining, yet irritating.

First of all, they should know and understand social norms. That's the first. Maybe, self help books and guides may or may not be helpful. I don't know. It's absurd. Take that one step forward, to understand.

Late and forever late

I'm not sure if people are thoughtless these days, or they are just lack of senses.

Sure, humans make mistakes. I just don't get it because only people from here make this mistake. This in particular, being punctual.

There are people, that few individuals, and it's always them that are late. Late, late, late and late. It comes to the point where I don't know if I should brush if off or to really address the issue. Again, it's not that I have not. I have done so many times over the last 10 years. What else can I do? Nothing I know. What can I change? I know there is, which is, screw them and tell them that they should just stay where they are and not make it a point to meet up, ever again. That irritates me so much.

I'm not sure if it has something to do with my trainings, my upbringing or other misc stuff. Apparently, I am one in the circle that behaves this way, that highlights punctuality to the max. I must reiterate this, I despise people being late. SO MUCH. I don't get it too, why can't people be on time.

After being late, they have a million excuses why they're late. Traffic jam, dunno whose car breaks down, buy breakfast for someone, this, that and whatever. I mean common, I am not born yesterday. I do not accept stupid reason like that. So, they blame everything out there that can be blamed. Again, do I accept it? Obviously not. You can tell me your neighbor's insurance agent's uncle's far distant relative and what other ancestor stories. I don't buy it, and in particular if I know you long enough, I will jot every single thing down, in my brain. AND .... I remember it. I must say, when it comes to stuff like that, I have BRILLIANT memory.

Then, with them already being late, they don't inform. My lifespan is getting shorter each day. Since when that being late for one hour is acceptable, that it's okay, that people can just let it go because I can't. There's a limit in everything. If you do it all the freaking time, or at most times, please, just shut up. The moment you open your mouth, you seem even more stupid than you already are. Stop explaining, stop blaming. Just admit, and move on.

I am not someone that is patient enough to be waiting for you an entire day and yet still smile to you. Not over my dead body, really.

My plan now is, after 2 months, I will probably dismiss it and tell you, stay out of the way, do whatever you want because I do not need you to be here. I have my time meant for people who respect time, and not those who don't like you.

It's such an easy thing, yet so difficult for some. Or probably impossible. One thing I've learnt, no matter how close you are to me, if you are not punctual, prepare yourself. It might not happen this year, but I'm sure going to put it as the NY's resolution end of this year.

I do not wanna be a broken recorder, to tell people simple stuff like that. You don't even need people telling you common sense like this. So, if you think you're busy, so am I. Just because I know how to juggle my time, that doesn't make you taking advantage of my precious time. Thank you for reading.

UK: Liverpool, England

After the Lake District, let us all cruise in to Liverpool.
 
Who don't know Liverpool? Everyone has heard or know about it.

Before the Liverpool Football Club, it's the local rivalry. Football fans should know this. Goodison Park, the homeground for Everton!

Just look across the road, there's the You'll never walk alone club - Liverpool.

It was actually raining when we checked in. We were given time to rest and stuff. It's actually a free evening/night and of all places, we ended up in China Town for dinner. It was raining, I was wet. Gosh, again? Then, we walked at the streets!

This is a very famous club in Liverpool. It was made famous by Beatles! They used to play their gigs here and they debut from here.

It's very stuffy as it's an underground club, just like the clubs I use to go in Swiss. The bands play the Beatles' song there, as well as dress up like them too!

Well, that was the street while walking back to the hotel. It wasn't late, nor was it early. It's summer, the sun doesn't go down like in winter!

 So, here I was back in the hotel with that whatever face.

It's About Time

As you grow older, you realize there are people around you whom you cannot fathom. Probably, you just brush it aside as, ahh s/he is just being dramatic, or s/he is just craving for attention when you were younger. That may or may not be more acceptable. When you're young, everything you do, is more acceptable.

Not when you're older, or rather, much older. People expect you to be more matured, to be more realistic, to be more logical, and not act like a total idiot.

As a guy/girl, you don't go liking every single person out there that you encounter with. I don't call this immature. I call this being an idiot and desperado.

Regardless of the status of that person, you like him/her, being close to that person, only to regret later on and proudly brag about this? This is something you should be shameful of. Perhaps, this person is trying to victimize him/herself. Few months later, only to find yourself going to that path again.

My friend or not, this is someone I look down to. It doesn't matter if that other married party was the one initiating it, but you know you shouldn't be breaking people's family apart. It takes 2 to tango. You are wrong, it really just means you're wrong. You can say you are not wrong, if one insists, what can others say. It's still morally and socially wrong.

If single people don't like you, it means just one thing. There's something really wrong with you. If it's just one, two, three, or four, I can register. But, if it happens all the time, it's probably the attitude problem. If one is desperate, it's quite easy to tell. If you come off as a despo, you can't blame people for not liking you. People don't like a despo.

The quote "being classy is not about being stuck up. You need to cultivate respect for everyone, including yourself" is so right.

At That Age

Those my age and not married yet, I am sure many of them are already worried. "Oh no, I am already at that age, I must get married." What mentality is that?

But, why? I asked "isn't that too soon, and this is like Fast and Furious" told me "I am at that age." Omg, are we at the 20th century or what. I do feel that way.

Recently, someone, another one, told me that. "I am at that age." There are no other things to say apparently. So, you are speeding things up, and so conveniently someone appeared in front of you, and so, you jump in the bandwagon just because you are "at that age."

Initially, it was "no, I don't feel that way towards him" 1 week later, it was an opposite response. I do not wanna know. Then, the conversations are all about him thereafter. How boring. Oh my life, why is it surrounded by them.

Then, the talk about marriage. REALLY?! Okay, understood "at that age" totally got it. Please proceed and do not bother me. When being teased "very bad okay" HELLO?! What now? I'm bad? Humans like that, please leave me alone.

It's all about "that age." That's all I am hearing. Can we really know anyone in less than 6 months with very rare meetings. I wonder. It's all about "the age, that age, the age." OKay, I think I am getting irritated.

"I wanna have kids." I think I am the last person you wanna talk to about that. Okay fine "please get married because you are the age. Otherwise, I will feel burdened."

I know, this is not the only one. There are many out there who act that way, just because they have hit that age. So, if there's anyone out there, just anyone, good enough, okay time to talk about marriage. I find this whole stuff very creepy. They get so desperate, they get so whatever, they just get married to whoever. Are you sure? "He seems nice and I'm comfortable." OMG I FEEL LIKE DYING. Goodbye, go away.

Oh My Ass

Oh I realized I haven't blogged about this.

Late last year, it was such a beautiful evening, I finished work, ready to have a great evening with Kyliie, nice, pleasant and quiet dinner with coffee. As I was driving towards KDU (where I need to pick Kyliie up), just out of the blue, I had a knock from behind, I mean, a bang.

If it wasn't too bad, I don't mind letting her go. But, it was bad. The bumper dented in. There's no way I am letting the woman go. Stupid woman.

Then, there's some dude, told us to go down so we don't hold up the traffic. I went, waited for this woman, 2 hours. 2 hours I can already go to the airport, back to KL twice.

After all the drama that happened, we went to the police station. Yada yada ... it is indeed frustrating, my whole night was ruined.

Thank you to the woman who banged my car, I truly appreciate it as you made me involved in an accident, for the first time ever.

Oh, after I have done the reporting, she came in, and she asked the guy how does she fill up the details of the incidental report. Seriously? Are you really that dumb? IF, you do not know how to fill in these kind of details, the most simple details ever, then don't try using your phone while driving. Common sense. After you have banged someone car, human's sense is to apologize. Oh she didn't even apologize in the beginning.

What a screwed up human. She was speaking Mandarin to me in the first place. Of course, I looked at her one kind, and being so annoyed, I went "WHAT?!" only then she switched to English, with some difficulty. The dude who was helping her to fill in the form asked what's her occupation. It's a horror really, she said she's a lecturer. Lecturer, and not a teacher. University students? Really?

Now I know the answer of the young's generation quality deterioration. I have the answer now, right upon my eyes. How can we expect the kids to behave well, to have basic manners, to have all those that you thought all humans should when the lecturers are behaving in such a way, acting so dumb and irritating, right? It's almost game over now, the next generation.

I had to go being all dramatic, I gotta say that if I ever faint, the reason is because I need to go through this sick procedure of an accident rather than having a nice dinner somewhere. STUPID. Then only, she apologized. Annoying species.

Happy New Year 2015! Goodbye 2014!

I am not going to recap what I have done for the year anymore, unlike the years before ever since I started blogging 9 years ago. This is just a summary in a short paragraph.

Before the year finally come to an end, I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very Happy New Year ahead.

It was definitely a very difficult year for Malaysians with 3 planes ended in tragedy. But, let's keep all our prayers and faith. Let's put all those behind us, not literally, but as a matter of fact, to move on.

On a personal level, it was a great year. Looking forward to even a better year ahead. With all the ups and downs, let us all gather to say adios to 2014 and say welcome to 2015.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup
and surely I’ll buy mine!
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS

Too Supportive

There are so many types of friends that exist. But, one type of friend caught my attention. That is, the friend that support you through everything. Sounds like that friend you wanna have, that ideal friend. But, maybe, that isn't the best of friend.

Of course, in comparison to a friend that goes missing and comes whenever h/she likes based on his or her own comfort, this is better. How good it is based on your own judgement.

There's a this type of friend that goes all gung-ho no matter what you do. They support you through your darkest moment to your brightest moment. No doubt, this is a really good type of friend. Except, you will not know if what you are doing seems logic and right. Even if you do something wrong, something against one's conscious, h/she will stand by your side.

If your friend tells you that she is constantly checking the bf's phone, stalking his FB, questioning why did the bf add a girl on FB who is a colleague, doing things that I'll label as the mad woman category, as a friend, what will you do? Do you support whatever your friend is doing? Obviously not, right? But, this category of friend will support you, and you end up thinking that what you do is right, and that he should not be adding the girl on FB and you will continue being crazy and mental. It's damaging and unhealthy in particular, long term.

One should not support your friend doing things as such. Otherwise, we end up having a damaged community. It's not like the community we have now is any healthy. But, things will deteriorate and can only get worse. So, please. Don't get mental together with your friend, instead, help them. Those who check on their bf/gf's phone, need help, badly. Do not encourage them. It might be a simple thing, but it shows an unhealthy mind.

Bomoh

The world is a scary place and everything is just so sick. This had been happening for ages now, and it's just shocking to know how people will turn into these stuff to get things go their ways.

I'm hearing the existence of bomoh, or rather shaman. Their beliefs and practices are involved with spirits and the victims usually don't act the way they usually are, instead they act like as if they are someone else. Originally, this was used to cure patients who are sick. After such a long time, of course people tend to misuse it and now, when we just say this word, people get freaked out. It's that hazardous to the victims and the family members.

Obviously, this is done by someone very evil who is unable to get their things their ways, they turn to this way to get it done.

Some cases are beyond stupid. Bomohs are some bunch of scammers. They claim they are the real bomohs, and in order for them to give what their "patients" need or want, in particular to get husbands for these girls, they lied to these girls that they will first need to strip and do whatever not with them. That is called rape. Why do you ever need these people to find a husband for you? It's so common yet so many people are still falling prey into these people.

I just don't get the whole idea. Dogs, can actually see these people who had seek bomoh for help. Or they themselves are those species. If the dogs react very differently from the normal beings, that's a sign.

If something is not yours, or someone is not meant for you, it's just not meant to be. Even hell will not be able to accept you. The more I know, the more I just wanna stay home and not meet humans.

Women are insane. These bunch, in particular.

Basic Manners

I have been living here since the day I was born. That's 3 long decades and to see the people that we have to deal with in a daily basis is so devastating. Literally.

It's all these people that I see, that I need to cross path with, that I need to encounter, and witness that made me lost hope in humanity altogether.

It isn't just one, two, or three, but whole lot of them. Each time, it comes out very naturally to try to be nice to people, but they just don't appreciate. Instead, I just don't know how they were brought up that they become so freaking rude, and they don't even know what basic manners is. Weren't they taught how is it to have human etiquette? I'm 101% sure that they don't after countless attempts of trying to convince myself that kindness still exist in this world, or rather specifically, this country.

We used to be known for our warm hospitality and now, right now, we have lost all of that. People become crude, become evil, that they do not have any more human conscious in them. It doesn't make them humans anymore. In fact, there's no difference with animals, or rather I should say, they are worse than animals now. Anytime. I'm just shocked.

I can't be blamed to not have faith, but all these people had been putting it down.

I have been having this issue all my life. Nevertheless, I am trying to change. It's something I have to freaking deal it in a daily basis.

Scenario 1:
Me: *holds the lift for people*
Them: *walks in like some big bosses and it's my responsibility to hold it for them & in return they stare at me or just ignore me completely*
Me: *I feel like closing on them and murder them there and then, only if I have the power to do so just with my eyes*

Just 2 words, thank you. Is that something too much to do? It's a THANK YOU for God's sake. Okay, a shorter version, THANKS! Like hello, don't you know all these? I'll forgive you if you're dumb. Now onwards, I will pretend like I am going to open for them, but in fact close it. I have to remind myself to do that but each time, I still end up holding it open. I'm so disappointed in myself.

Scenario 2:
Me: *walk at my normal pace*
Them: *knock into me and stare like I knock into them*
Me: Excuse me. Thank you.

This time, it's just one word. Here, we should use, sorry. I'll forgive you even if you say excuse me. That's how the French says it. Or pardon, whichever that acknowledge you are in the wrong and it's our human nature to apologize. C'mon!

Scenario 3:
Friend A: *standing near the up/down button*
Me: *talking to Friend A*
Them: *ran and pushed Friend A to press on the down button even though both had been pressed*
Me:  Did I just see that happen?
Them: *pretend nothing*
Me: *I feel like bitch slapping that dumb ass* brainless piece of shit.

Yes, that really happened, upon my eyes. I don't know if she does not have a brain. Really, please help the human race and kill yourselves - meaning that idiot and all those that only pollute the world. If you can't contribute, then just do this for the sake of this world.

I've been cursing and swearing more and more each passing day. If I bottle everything up, I'll go mad one day. For the sake of the people around me, for the sake of myself, I will still prefer to remain sane.

As a conclusion, it's now filled with uneducated and uncivilized barbarians. I am sure many will agree with this, that the problematic ones come from people born after a certain year. The probability of you meeting someone that is problematic in that range is so high in comparison with the ones born before that. It's a hypothesis but my study had shown that it's not surprisingly accurate as ever. You can disagree, but the truth remains. The fact that there are problematic disgusting people outside from that range too, but the ratio is not as high.

MJ was right all along.

Artists

Every now and then, we get stars touring around the world to perform in concerts and etc. There are things, as an artist, should or should not do.

If you want people to keep on supporting you, you should be genuine when performing. Not because you perform at a different region, there's no reason to act otherwise.

Just because you have been famous for whatever reason, your fans would want to see you perform at your best. Not "just another concert, the return is not much, so I will just do what I need to."

Punctuality is very important. If you are not punctual and is bad in your timing, being all diva-ish, you have probably lost all 10 points together. I don't get it, why must you be late when the other artists I have attended personally can be on time, right on the dot.

Then, you get the insincerity while performing. Like, humans are social creatures. They can tell whether you really want to perform or you're there just because you're there. When your fans, the people that had been supporting you ask for encore, it isn't a request anymore. It's something people expect from you. It's just another few miserable minutes. Gosh.

The closing of a concert is as important, to formally say goodbye and thank them for the support. Nobody is going to be happy if you leave without a proper goodbye.

The Marriage Vow is no longer valid

It's tragical. People are getting divorce so easily these days.

I am not talking about a different generation. It's among my circle, or linked somehow.

In this Gen Y era, alone, and I do not have a million friends. Instead, I know only a handful. Even that, I have more than 7 people walked through that path. Like, why?

Many got married early, and after 2 years, they divorce. Marriage vows are no longer valid til the end of time. "I xxx take you xxx to be my lawfully wedded h/w, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

It's now until money do us part, or a third person do us part. You get some that move on very easily. You get some that get stuck in that scar for a long long time. They can't walk away from the scar that was left behind.

Sad but true. This is how Gen Y works. You go to any weddings these days, you wouldn't know if that's the one and only weddings of that person you are attending. Who knows.

I learned. Never ever trust anyone who appears to be all lovey-dovey with their SOs. Do not. I have seen a few and all ended up in catastrophe.

Argentina vs Netherlands

Haha so yeah we have all heard it. Those who are into football and those who are not. There's a common topic. The homeground, namely, Brazil, was thrashed 7-1 by Germany.

I was hoping that they do not win. As in Brazil. Who would have thought, not 2, not 3 but SEVEN?! It's unbelievable.

Tonight, will be Argentina and Netherlands. Omg. This will be nerve-wrecking.

Netherlands is me. Please Netherlands, please.

Haha and the Brazil was still there. Yes Netherlands, do it okay.

Being Submissive

Those days, women are expected to be submissive. Then, they are seen as being attractive. But, time has changed. Being submissive in general does not look and appear charming anymore. At least, in general. There are some who will still prefer girls like that. I am not discounting that idea.

Of course, it's preference. We have the media to promote independent girls, we have friends, or at least many more are being self-dependent and not submissive anymore compared to those days.

With all that happening, there are certain expectations. Maybe, it's them overthinking. There are girls who are very submissive, who are very dependent emotionally on others, but they do not want to admit as they want to be accepted, they want to be part of the group, they do not want to be different from the others.

Look, it's okay to be submissive, it's okay to admit you are sensitive and emotional, we all have our times. Even the most positive person will have their down times. But, it's not okay to pretend you are very strong willed, and deep down, you are suffering from validation and acceptance from others. In the end, you are going to suffocate yourself. People are not going to judge you just because you are emotional. We have different kind of people in the world. So yes, we have emotional people in the world too. It's really not wrong to be that. You don't have to lie to others, you don't have to lie to yourself. Just be truthful, be who you are and you will realize that you will be much happier that way.

Regardless of what you are, if people will wanna judge, no matter how perfect you are, people are still going to judge. It's pointless trying to hide your flaws for people as such. 

There's no definite saying that being submissive is good or bad. It's just a matter of perspective. There are people who will appreciate that.