Another goodbye

My last update on my job was 2 years ago when I left IKEA after a huge project I worked on which also happened to be my first legit and formal project I took on. From then on, I went to an e-commerce platform. If you're in Asia, you gotta work there to say you have worked in a large e-commerce company.

My mind wasn't at the best state when I attended the interview. But, I gotta do what I was hired for. I was lucky I got hired. haha. After 6-7 years of being around, it's still a start up culture. In comparison of PayPal, IKEA looks like a manual-labored company. I'm not going into the nitty-gritty stuff due to compliance and confidentiality (based on my own integrity, no NDA or anything like that). But, it came as even more of a surprise when I started working here.

Putting complaints of manual labor aside, you learn the most when being put in an environment like that. You don't maximize your learning from a well-established infrastructure because the AI helps you complete your job quicker, faster and more efficient.  

I continue taking on the project management role, swaying further and further away from Compliance. Well, in project management, specifically in the Fraud/Compliance function haha. I left after 1 year and 8 months. I have heard people leaving within 3 months and I get it. 

Anyone young, who has the drive and energy to put up with the effort and hours, go for it. Just don't expect things to be easy and chill. When it comes to learning curve, dang, there's a lot to learn even for someone like me (meaning not fresh grad). If you get a good lead, learn the most you can. They are the ones that make the difference and they make tough jobs more bearable.

That's where I worked. Be fully prepared for interviews if you plan to work there. 

Hanging up my tag and lanyard. Goodbye Eco city.

 Finally, the last time wearing lanyard. I was in the restroom haha. 

Update: Moved

I've been missing for awhile now, slightly more than a year due to, well, life.

When I visited a monk when I was in my early 20s, I was told that there will be a major change or event in our lives when the second digit of our age turns 9. So, it's 9, 19, 29, 39, 49....99. Only if you manage to reach 99 (I do not want to either). Please don't make me live such a long life. 

So, the year I turned 39, in fact, it was just last month, yay, Happy Birthday to myself. There has been a huge shift in my life this year. First, I packed my bags, then I moved country. Second, I resigned, and went back into studying. 

Until I did my highest education prior to this (degree for me), I was neither a good student nor a good learner. I'm not sure if it's partly due to the fact I wasn't working and lack experience before I can be grateful that studying is way easier than work. Or perhaps, the education system did not fit my way of learning. My memorizing skill is bad, I just did not know just how to memorize for an exam. To get to a passing grade, I can already be content. That was how bad it was. 

Anyway, I passed my degree in Bachelor of Arts, I still had my Honors, phew. Haha. I went to work in the field of my studies and quit 2.5 years later and went into something unrelated. The reason why I worked in a hotel was really just to build my foundation in my mental state, personality and character as I was still discovering the world and myself. 

Right now, I know who I am, I know my likes and dislikes, I know exactly what I want now. Therefore, studying right now might be a good idea too. 

That's a short little update about myself. 

The supernatural force

Has anyone encountered a supernatural existence? We have read and heard stories and tales from our family, friends, teachers and what not. But, have you?

I came from a non-believer family of this power and growing up, until today, I'm not exactly certain if the encounters I had were purely imagination, a dream, or something really happened. Nobody told me about ghosts, spirits etc and my late grandparents were still around at that time. I was afraid of many things, one included a burglar breaking into houses, and it left me terrified and ended up dreaming about it for nights. Okay this is not supernatural, but an example of how I get scared and I would hide under my comforter and stop breathing. Thinking about it makes me wonder what was I thinking at that age.

Fast forward, became an adult voila, I shouldn't be afraid of anything I cannot see with my naked eyes right? Wrong. I was even more afraid haha. I heard many stories happened in Genting Highland, abandoned places, hotels etc and guess what, I went into the hospitality industry. Well done to myself haha.

Working in a hotel means we gotta work on shift which includes a graveyard shift. When it's quiet and eerie, your imagination runs a million times worse than it already was. I was working at a Front Desk at that time, and it was 4am, I wanted to go to the toilet. What do I do? I can't wait until 7am. I had 2 options, to go through the quiet staff locker which is cold and quiet, OR, I go to the guest toilet 1 minute away. I opted for the guest toilet and I ran for my life.

Before I started working there, I was on the fence whether there is or not. After I joined the hotel, there was even a team of people with gifted abilities to see all these spirits. I heard so many stories, and them telling me what they could see at that point of time. It was haunted at that time. The hotel was the top hotel in KL that time, and our business was rather bad and many unfortunate events had happened, one after another including a not-so-young housekeeper was possessed and needed 5 big-sized security guards to hold on to her. There's no logic in all of these, yet it happens. Another was, my co-worker heard a boy crying in the locker, and when she went to check it out, there was nobody.

There was someone committed suicide in the hotel room just before I joined. Guess what? Each time for that 2.5 years I worked there after 9pm, the elevator was definitely gonna stop on a certain level, whether there are guests in front or not. This has been years ago, but it doesn't mean that it's not there. I'm sure it's there, somewhere around us. I was told that my body is very yin from a legit medium. Therefore, I need to be very careful as I am an easy catch.

Since I left the hotel industry, do I still believe in it? Even more than ever. Have you heard of anyone being followed around? Do you have any friends that can see these things? Or some, they can even communicate to ask what do they really want? I have and when I hear these things, I still get goosebumps each time.

My 3 weeks job

A long time ago when I was still young and innocent, I took up the hospitality course as my future was cloudy and bleak. You know how some people knew what they wanted to do, the path they wanted to go from a very young age? I did not have that. When I was in F4, I wanted to drop Accounts as I clearly did not have the brains or the interest for it. My teacher back then did not allow me. I ended up scoring 9/100 in the final examination. Cool huh? haha. So I withdrew from Business Admin course and took up hospitality only to end up taking Financial Accounting (wth?).

Anyway, I did my internship in Switzerland and happily flew home to be with my friends and family. I then started to work in a hotel here. It was tough, physically and emotionally demanding. I saw so many people cried due to the stress that they went through. Everyone cope with stress and pressure differently, but back then, I was stone cold. I did not understand it. After 2.5 years, I thought, it's time to resign as I could not take the pressure of working the graveyard shift every single week. It was too much and I was also getting older, my body might not be able to take that kind of intensity. I was turning 25. To add on to that, my low EPF, I can't retire with the rate it's going.

I attended a couple of interviews. One of that is a well-known foreign bank. Took me 4 hours just to get to an interviewer (those assessments, tests etc) only to find out that they were just paying a salary lesser than my hotel job. The disadvantage working in a hotel is that you get minimum EPF due to a rather low basic income. I used to get RM50 a month. Crazy right?

I went on unemployed for 6 months. I went to Korea to travel for 2 weeks then bum my way round for 6 months only to realize that my money is at "low." I grabbed whatever job that came offering to me just so that I can get cash in to my bank account.

This was purely for convenience. I took this job with a maid agency. I'm talking about something that happened 12 years ago, not today (or if it does, then I do not know). So I got hired from a maid agency as a consultant (in other terms sales). Though I did some sort of sales work (without the target), it's not my forte. I'm weak in that department, right until today. Okay, so judging from the office appearance, I cannot expect anything great or grand. I was dull, I was sluggish, I did not even know what I was doing there. One day, this kind client came by, as he was sending his domestic helper off back to her origin country. As an appreciation, he even gifted her a laptop. How nice and kind some people really are. He hasn't seen me before then, he asked what was I doing there in that agency. I explained my path and he said he's in the hotel industry for 10 years and there's a lot else to learn. Well, I may agree on that but I don't think I can take a hotel's lifestyle for much longer. But he said very softly to me to leave that company, I have got no future there. 

I took that advice and considering all the things that have been happening there, I decided to leave. I just thought, what can I learn there? To match a client with a domestic helper? Is that success to me? Knowing the personality that I have, I cannot witness at all the fraudulent activities that were happening at that time and pretend it is okay. Even more so, since I work there, I was contributing to the fraudsters? It may be something "normal" within the industry for all that God knows but is it the right thing to do? The answer to myself was no, it is legally and morally wrong. The final blow was, I could not accept the fact that when a meeting occurs, someone smokes cigar in an enclosed room. Can anyone say anything regarding that? No.

I left after 3 weeks.

What's your vision?

Hej! It's about time I share what I have been doing the past 2 years. As mentioned here, my colleagues (back then) and I lost our jobs and with uncertainties had fallen upon us, our future was dark and gloomy. But, one door closes, another door opens.

With what I did previously, it came as a shock as to how I went through the interviews and got selected to join the project team. The competition was pretty fierce and aggressive. My experience prior to this is probably just 10-15% relevant to what it is in the project. I am really thankful and glad that I was jobless for only 4 months (including vacation to Seattle) before I started work. I have jumped in the trend into e-commerce, right before Covid said hello to all of us. 

In these 2 years, it was such a rollercoaster ride, and being first time in such a huge project to open a store in PH, it's definitely an eye-opener to me personally. The amount of things I have learnt on the job is immeasurable especially in the payment aspect. Thank you to those that I have worked with, both internal and external. When I saw the door opened for the locals in November, I cannot help but to feel that this has got to be the biggest achievement thus far. It's especially heart-warming to see how we grew from zero to something so massive. 

The only drawback is a contract-basis job. Considering that all the commitments we have in life, I can't do anymore contract-based jobs. It's human nature to want to feel secure. There's a lot of first-time in the job and saying thank you for the opportunity isn't enough. 

A highlight in the whole experience is knowing how and why the founder started the company in the first place. And most importantly, I hope that the company continue to stand strong in what the founder believed in. Thank you for this experience! It was such a pleasure to be part of a strong team and I really enjoyed my whole journey here.

And heck, a very unfortunate news had befallen on my family and I thank God I was working for this company, and for this manager in particular who went out all the way to support my welfare and well-being. 

This chapter has officially closed in July 2021 and I have moved on to something else :)

Starstruck

I often hear about fans getting starstruck while on the job, they take advantage of their position. What I really miss about working in a hotel is this, to meet these stars and celebrities in person. But, it puts me in such a huge dilemma, my personal gain or to remain professional. My conscious and principle won the battle. In the end, I treat them like any other guests, smile and I was dying inside. I was so close yet so far away from them, literally one meter apart. I see them right before my eyes, yet I could not take a photo with them, I could not get their autograph, all in the name of professionalism. 

So when I hear about these "fans" asking for autograph or a photo with them and they get turned down, or get a complaint thereafter, I understand the star's position. They pay for business class, or they pay for a suite room is to have sufficient rest, and be private about it. They escaped from the public, doesn't make it okay for the service line employees to interrupt their rests. They could have said no, I get it. But, if his or her time is occupied to turn fans down, what kind of organization is that to not protect their privacy? As a guest, you want to be in peace, and comfortable.

If they signed just one, there'll be a line of other fans waiting for that autograph too. Back to 2008/2009 when I was still that noob in my first job, the celebrities I really liked appeared in front of me. I died several times in the course of few seconds when I took the same elevator as them. All I could say to them was "How was your day?" instead of "OMG I really love you, can I take a photo with you." It's SO hard. Another encounter was to get an invoice signature from him. I died multiple times. Then, the final one was him being locked out from his room, shirtless. Geez. The chocolate abs. That "him" is actually referring to all different celebrities haha. 

Did I regret not taking photo or autograph? Yeah, in the back of my head, it's always "what if." But then, if I turn back the clock, I would still do the same thing and respect their privacy. It is a huge responsibility as a frontliner and in the service line. The guests and organizers had entrusted you to handle these VIPs with care, so we should render the service as how it should be. You need to be responsible and you're representing that organization. I would just die multiple times inside and that's about it. I chose to be in this line, I need to be able to handle these moments too. But oh well. 

I know this was nothing, there's no proof, but there's no need for proof, there's no need for evidence. I keep it safe with me in my memories. Such a waste I know, but well. It's not all about social media though we are all steering towards that unhealthy direction. That's one of those sweet memories I had during my hospitality era. 

Staycation @ Kuala Kubu Bharu

We have been waiting for a staycation for the longest time. It has been a long wait. We planned all in April to go in May. But, that was the time our country hit rock bottom. The Covid situation was so bad that we had to cancel all plans to stay home. I mean, I know I am blessed to have a job and everything. But, that was also the very same time our family was hit with a tragedy.

Anyway, after a very long wait, no cancelation policy, and with us all started our jobs, we have to go somehow. Only the few of us made it in the end. But it was better than ever. It's a much needed getaway. It's a challenge to get everyone together. These guys I went with were people that I have worked with. How often can you say, hey I hang out with my colleagues. It happens more now because, how else do we meet people right. I don't believe in "I don't hang out with my colleagues because I need to separate colleagues and friends." I've heard that from someone. You do you.

Pondering Introvert's fresh start in the morning before departing KL. Yay, it's finally happening!

Welcome to Kuala Kubu Bharu! Cleanse your organ. We arrived at 1-ish and check in was 3pm. It's a private area so they don't allow us to enter. I didn't understand why he couldn't let us in but once I got there, I understood why. There's no common area where we all park our cars. No, it's literally just the villa all by yourselves. 

Imagine having champagne in this pool here, haha. It's not to swim of course haha. So the brick walls on the left and right, it's one room each on both sides.

After soaking in the pool, get all ready for the BBQ. I didn't take any pictures of the BBQ, the amount of food we had simply because, I was hangry! I had no time for that but just, gobble up the food! Yums. And blessed. What a lovely night.

The very next day, Hello, Good morning world! I've been in KL my whole life and no, we don't have fresh air. It was so nice to breathe some fresh air once in awhile.

Laying on this hammock lookalike under the tree. How can it get better than this? It's been awhile I haven't been in tune with nature. 

Stopped by at nearby town. People stopped here for this. It's really just this. haha.

Loved the vintage feel of this town. It isn't far from KL but this kind of primitive vibe cannot be found in KL anymore. I appreciate stuff like this. It's priceless. And, it's clean! 

Finally, a short video on a stroll in the villa.

 

It was a really nice, needed getaway. The caretaker there has been nothing short of fantastic. This villa can fit up to 10 pax. It might just be 2 bedrooms there but there were extra beds available. We went in a group of 6 and we were all very comfortable, including those that slept on the extra bed. It isn't just a mattress, it's a pull out bed.

Nice break from the bustling city life. Most importantly, you get to spend time with family and friends, or friends like family. They even have board games available, but bring your own. Of course, you gotta go with the right people. This place is mostly occupied, so if you wanna go, book it much earlier. We managed to book the night as we went on a Sunday. 

So, we ate, we laughed, we played games, we talked, then off to bed. haha. Thank you for making this happen.

Thank You!

I haven't visited the temple since the last I went when I was in school. Just because I did not put much effort in studying and being a student, procrastination is to the next level. We all know that, we have all gone through that. haha. Except, if you're studious, then it's a different story all together. It's best to pray if you fall into the former. 

For the first time in SO many years, I stepped my foot into the temple. Since 2019 was the year of retrenchment, aside of whatever I have, I still need luck to be on my side.

I'm not sure if I haven't been here for a really long time, or any other reasons, I find this really pretty. haha. In the end, I got the job. Congratulations to myself haha. Of course, I went the second time to say thank you! 

To be honest, I really like visiting temples. My current goal is Laos. haha. Hanging out with the monks sound cool. ✌

Venue: Thean Hou temple which became a tourist attraction now. 💗

PayPal - check out - 043019

This is my story of 2019. It was a long journey I had with PayPal. Some might know that my major is in hospitality. That didn't work out well because of the long hours and almost zero EPF. Hotel line isn't for everyone. Certainly not for me.

When PayPal came to Malaysia, I was trying my luck from a job fair in Midvalley. That was in 2011. It has been a long time. Fast forward to the end of 2018. Some of us heard rumors that it's about to close down. Nobody can give us an answer because ... management will keep their lips sealed. Thinking that, we prepared ourselves quietly, mentally.

Chinese New Year 2019 came and a few days later, we were all told to go to a nearby hotel (walking distance of course) at a specific time. There, we saw bouncers, our directors, some big bosses flew in from the US. What is happening? Well, looks like the rumors are true afterall. So many questions popped into our head the same time. I'm sure the same for the others. Maybe, some are smiling deep inside. But, just a minority. Questions like what will happen to us? What's next? How can I find another job that pays me the same? What kind of job should I apply for? When can I get a job? How do I tell my family? It was an emotional scene. I saw people broke down into tears with the fear of uncertainty. We were then brought into a room with each department separated. We would then be told our exit date. It happened too abruptly. We weren't prepared at all though we knew it before the actual announcement.

2 months later, we saw ourselves out from the exit door and that's the end of our PayPal journey. Some of us have been there 3.5 years, 5 years and myself? 7.42 years. We might have lost our jobs, but, we gained knowledge, opportunities and most of all, friendships. The company gave us a lot that it will never be the same anymore. Now, it depend on us to put in the effort, to keep in touch. It's no longer going to work having the same person sitting beside us anymore. There are no more iphones giveaways as lucky draw gifts for annual dinner. Haha.

Truth to be told, the culture has become toxic over time. 7 years over is a long time. It has become very localized that it's no longer a place everyone enjoys. Yet, they stay because .. with the amount of work, there's nowhere else that would offer the same pay.

As for me, I enjoyed my time there. It's sad to part ways but, we gotta do what we gotta do. We will meet half way. One door closes, the other opens. I applied for more than 100 over jobs with only 5 interviews being called. It wasn't just us getting retrenched. There were other companies too. So, we ain't competing with the only other 800.

To those who are still looking for a job and with this virus flying around, all the best. Opportunities will come knocking your way soon. Have faith.

PayPal, thank you for the experience and friendship you have given me along the way!

To all my friends, I don't work for them anymore. Don't come texting me for free consultation 🤣🤣🤣

Check in

Hi yo, I'm back! How are y'all? I hope everyone is safe and well. Who would have thought that I'll be back in situation like this. 

I know for a fact that Covid-19 started in December last year, escalated to around the world in March. I was about to visit China in March when the pandemic happened. I had my first ever trip to China in 1999. Let's just say that the entire experience wasn't very pleasant and I was still a teenager. Haha. 21 years later when I decided maybe, I should give China a chance, shit happened. So it got cancelled and they forfeited a few hundred. It's not fair, it's not our fault but...Yeah things happened. It is what it is. The virus was just hitting China back then, so I booked a hotel in Laos with the purpose of escaping a wedding. That didn't happen too. For obvious reason. I even had plans for Europe, everything is cancelled 🤭🤭🤭 

 
We have to adapt to changes. Let us all do our part as part of our social responsibility. It's not about us, it's about our community, society and future. The situation is really meant for introverts. haha.
What have y'all been doing? I have been working, Netflix, coloring and working out. These are the main things that I have been doing for the past 3 months. Now that they have opened up almost everything, I think it's about time that we re-visit how we work. Working from home certain days should be considered. As long as results are delivered, why shouldn't we? I honestly enjoy working from home haha. Next question, is the gym really necessary? I'm really considering not renewing it once it ends. With 5 hours of being stationary, it's bad. Effort and time has to be put in.

Last but not least, stay safe y'all!

Day 7: Dubai City Tour, UAE

It was a long break since the last post. This has got to be the last entry already. I had the morning city tour around Dubai that day. It's the only thing I can do left before my flight in the evening that day.

That's Za'abeel Palace or it is also known as Zabeel Palace. You can see many peacocks around here. They walk wherever they want, ignoring vehicles and the humans. Do not knock them or kill them. Consequence is severe.

That's the mosque.

It's weird to have a beach area in a desert, right? Of course, it's man-made. See the Burj Al-Arab there? Great view for sure, but for people like me, I guess, it's better to see it from afar instead of staying there haha.

Next, we went to Atlantis. It's a palm area and it's far from the city. I'm not rich to be traveling with a cab everyday and everywhere.

What else ... it's Dubai's trademark, Burj Khalifa. Just like KL, you can go up, and that's with an entrance fee. I'm not exactly sure how much but it's not cheap.

Quite a shock to me. Before that, I think buildings are just buildings. How far off can a building go? I was wrong. This, is the only country I have seen that has the weirdest buildings. They are very futuristic and I can't figure out what did they build. Just wonder.

Then, went to the airport only to find out, my flight has been delayed. That's no fun.

If one asks, will I return to Dubai? Probably not. Things there are too expensive. Places like that, once is enough. In the first place, Dubai was never my intended vacation. Or, anywhere in the Middle East. It's an eye opener in terms of their cultures and all, and Dubai is already one of the modern developed ones, so I just don't think I'll be going back.

The End

At this age, our friends will have their own partners, they get upgraded, they change status, they have different priorities. That's totally fine and normal.

Then, you have someone, who vanished from thin air when they get a bf/gf. Okay, I'll give the honeymoon period of 6 months. Non-contactable of 6 months is actually non-acceptable but I'll try to be understanding, the max is 6 months. That means, not a meet up, no calls, no messages, nothing.

They just, disappear. When they were weak and down, people were there to pick them up. If you have been talking to someone, or to some people, I think it's only right if you tell them that you got someone and you will be seeing less of them. As friends, I'm sure they understand. But, without a word when you have been talking to each other every single day? That shows how much respect you have for your friends.

After a year, it is safe to conclude that this person will not be reaching out to you anymore, ever. It's best to just remove this person from your life because that's what they asked. We, as human beings, just reciprocate what they have done. It's okay, karma won't get back to you. Instead, it will be to that person who is unappreciative for what you had done. People love taking others for granted. That includes, people, who may or may not be your friend. That's how people are these days.

Sometimes, you will just wish you weren't there when they were down. *pats back* you did a great job. Don't worry about that. There are so many who are appreciative *proud smile* It's all good and in the end, it's worth it. Those that don't, when you fall again, that's because you deserve it. You'll suffer much more than how you did. haha.

Settle Down

For some reason, after so many years, I still remember what this woman asked me back then, 7-8 years ago. It's not something important but my brain works that way. It remembers every single little detailed thing that's not important. It just came to my mind today, God knows why.

See, we were working in an industry that doesn't give us any social life except for an intoxicated social life, or mamak. Choose one. Back then, partying is how it goes. We don't mamak. It was boring to mamak. Being young, bored, and no daylife, we frequent clubs and bars.

This woman, whom I wasn't close, and still not, asked me if my bf knows I club so often. I just hate it when people say things like that, like as if I have to follow the norm to have a bf like her. C'mon, boring much? It sure was. I asked her what made her think I had one? Her reaction was way too dramatic, "what?! You don't have." Hello, it's not a crime and why must I have one. Irritating.

She told me that I should think of settling down already to have a stable life. OMFG. You gotta be kidding me. I was 23-24. I told her that I don't wanna lead a boring life like her.

She got married months after that, and it amazed me that not long after she got married, heard stories of her cheating on her husband. Ah, this is really amusing. Get married and cheat. So, that's the whole point of getting married I see. It's not for me to say a word, but yeah woman, great advice..

Right after she left, I didn't see, heard about, or talk about her anymore. Well, let's just say, the interest isn't there to know about her amusing life or things that she said.

The Eyes

People hate others for no apparent reason. At times, they don't reflect their own actions if the blame is on oneself.

What I really mean is, the word, hate. There's a fine line between hate and dislike if one can't differentiate.

Of course, we as humans, we can't please everyone. The same goes to yourself, not everyone can please you. If you don't get along, move on, and be professional if it's work related. Otherwise, be courteous for social matters. At times, you hold grudge, vengeance and what not. Nobody is an angel or a saint. Considering the world is already cruel and stressful, by putting all these unnecessary stuff in, is that really worth the stress? I do understand that when you have many common friends, it's really difficult to break a friendship. If that needs to be done, then it just has to be done. It's not that I am breaking any of those friendship away anyway, this is just a justsaying statement.

Yeah, when people distance themselves from you, one two followed by three four, maybe, just maybe if you are humble enough, you should do some self-reflection on what have you done? Or what could you have done better in certain situations.

Glaring, staring, all of those are not needed. In particular, if you are doing so with the eyes full of hatred, nothing is going to change people's treatment on you. They are still going to continue distancing themselves. Hating people as easy as that? There's really nothing else I can really say except God bless you much. They know, how dangerous it is to talk to people like you. For me personally, I cannot talk to anyone I cannot trust.

As they say, the eyes are one of the utmost sense of a person's body as it reflects his soul. I can see his soul, that's full of hatred and bitterness. For sure, I am nobody to say anything. Having lived for more than 3 decades and still being so bitter on everyone, like, really? Does he need to be admitted to a rehab center? Haha.

Being rude is a crime, learn to say "Hello"

The longer I live, the worse people are. More uneducated and uncivilized they become. It come to a point there's no more humanity.

I have encountered this many years ago, probably 11 - 12 years ago. Certain things don't change. I was so irritated back then, and if the same happens now, I will just be the same, an equal irritation, if not worse.

There are some things that you don't have to be told. It's human's basic manners. If you hang out with that person, regardless how close you are with each other, you cannot leave being courteous aside.

Back then, it was a female, came to the car, sat like a queen, without a word of greeting. She does not know that I am not ali (driver). haha. I did what I do best.

Fast forward, same stuff happened. This time, a guy, came to the car, and didn't greet, not a word. Well, despite doing them a favor, it's only common you say hi. I am not expecting like a formal greeting, but hey, hi, what's up, is that so difficult to do?

The difference now and then is ... I got more pissed now. Why? Being 30s and not know etiquette? I do not tolerate, considering I am doing a favor already, not asking anything in return. The other difference now is, I had to teach this person what basic manners is. OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS DUDE? I gave him 5 secs, and he didn't say a word. Automatically, I exploded. HELLO ARE YOU DUMB? Therefore, I told him that when you enter someone's car, it's only polite and courteous that you greet that person that pick you up and do not be rude by just sitting like as if that person owes you. What I got as a reply? A sarcastic hello. I was on the verge of throwing him out from my car. But, patience pays off, right? I was brought up to be kind and nice. The reason I held on.

Then, thinking, he learned and it is instilled in his damn brain. Apparently, I was wrong. He came in the second time, and it was well forgotten. I swore by myself that it was the last time I was picking him up. There's no more a next time. Why? I had to be cool like that. Haha. 

Do you expect to be taught manners at this darn age? Hell no and in particular if you're older. Stop the crap and start learning manners. It's way too late to start learning but late is better than never.

The people around him may not have an issue with this, but I am really very particular. He should even thank me for teaching him manners. Who in the world would actually teach him, an older person manners? Ass.

Wait! Send yourself back to school please.

Learn to zip

We have met different people from different background throughout our entire lives. There are people who are there for some time, some not, and some are just there.

There are people whom you really wish from the bottom of the heart to stop talking so much, or stop talking altogether. It's impossible as a third party to stop what they say, when they talk, and what bull shit that comes out.

For some reason, they can really talk from the time they open their eyes to the time they close their eyes. I am not sure if I am amused with them, or I am so disgusted with it. Why don't they be teachers then, right? They can talk all day long and the students wouldn't stop you. According to a survey done, a woman speaks about 20,000 words a day. I believe I do not have 20,000. A guy I know, I strongly believe, he has 40,000 words at least. He talks that much that it comes to a point everyone is so irritated.

If you love listening to crappy stuff, maybe he's the perfect person. I do not know why do I deal with these kind in my life. It may not be a daily basis kinda thing, but it's frustrating. It's like an allergy. Like, ewwww.

God, help me. My tolerance cannot go any deeper. It's so bad for my blood pressure. Oh my lifespan. What I cannot take it is, people who love bragging though they are bad with it. Please. How can someone be like that? WHY?! And, I just have to meet them. WHY!

You will realize there are certain things you don't change, whether you're much younger, or you got older. This, is something I have not changed over the years. Tolerance towards people who brag has a tolerance of 0.001 out of 10. I am taught to be humble and I still live with that til today.

Learn to shut up maybe. Yucks.

Truth to be told

I was just browsing through websites and articles and I found this, the Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I think it affects many people.

Though it may seem like a social and cultural problem, it's still a mental disorder. Self-love is important, but having it til the extent of NPD is too extreme.

We need to face reality, but those with NPD overestimates their own capabilities and has excessive needs for affirmation as well as admiration. They are self-absorbed, self-centered, vain, selfish and everything is about them.

Probably, they are just an insecure bunch of people deep down. Look at the people around you, whether they are your friends or not. I am sure there are names that automatically pop into your head, or at least one. I know I have.

It's tiring and draining to have people like that. Like, why so self-absorbed? Even people are just being friendly on a surface level, they tend to think that everyone is in love with him/her. Really?! Honestly, there are many people out there who are better in every aspect, so why would people choose you, right? Think it logically. But again, they will think they are all that great, and on top of the world from physical attributes to their whatever it is.

Humans are generally nice and kind. Even though you are really ugly, you will be told you looked nice.  When you look lame, people will say you look great. I'm not sure if they are just trying to be polite, or they are trying not to hurt you with the truth. Either one, I guess a person with NPD should be happy having people as such around them. Likewise, you think you looked really cool or good looking, which of course not, they wouldn't tell you.  Or, you think that you are really good in whatever shit stuff when you're not, people don't really wanna break the honesty with you too. It's not a complaint, I am just impressed.

I pity them. At the same time, I cannot be the same as the others. I cannot lie to you, I cannot lie to myself as it's against my conscience. I need the truth to be out if I am being asked. When you're caught in that situation, all your human nature wears off. You will no longer pity them. You will feel really frustrated with them, their attitude, behavior and all that comes with them. Annoying, yes. Ignore? Please. Leave me alone, out of my sight if one is able. I beg you. Haha.

P/S: Do not try too hard to fit in, we are not in high school.

Stop Praying

We can no longer believe and trust someone is all good when they go to church / mosque / temple. Regardless the religion are you, it teaches you good things, be kind to people, do not do anything against a human's conscience, all in all, to the right path.

It doesn't wipe all your sins away just by praying. You don't even have to go to the place to worship, because everything is from within. People will be happy for you, friends will be glad, if you pray and regret all your wrongdoings. BUT, if you keep on doing things that is against a human conscience, yet go to the place of worship, you think you will be forgiven and all your sins will be wiped away? Stop joking. Don't kid me that way, that's an insult to a human's brain.

I do not care the religion you belong or the belief you have. I care how you treat people, pray, and victimize yourself. That's a brilliant way of living. While analyzing and thinking the past, I realize, perhaps, you're another sociopath in our community. I feel sad for people around you.

Those who care only for their own personal needs and desires, wanting to be the centre of attention all the time, with an abnormal social behavior. S/he may have many friends, or acquaintances, but just a few of close ones. People are leaving your side one after another. If you're not careful, you will be left alone very soon.

Conclusion? Stop praying if you're continue to step low, way down into that level of society when you can even bitch behind a friend's back. What makes one think that they can trust you? They obviously don't. With that attitude and the kind of luck in your life, you have my greatest sympathy, yet, I will remain my distance because I do not want to be that another victim of yours. Thank you so much. Again, there is a reason why one's life turned out this way, again and again, there's no luck in things he does. Why? it's just karma, dude!

I do not wanna have a friend and yet I have to becareful with my words.

I know I wouldn't

Over the years, we have our own friends come and go. Some stay for a longer time, some shorter. It's either they are there for you, or they teach you a lesson in life. Both are beneficial for you to grow as a person.

You always hear people saying that you know who your true or real friends are when you're down, when you needed someone, they are there. Maybe, that does not necessarily mean the case all the time.

Recently, I come to realize something new. Perhaps, we shouldn't measure things in that old stereotype way anymore. It can be measured in other means too.

I get very irritated when you're down, when you're blue, when you lose it in life because of some stupid break up, you go to people. Saying stuff I cannot live without her, without him, without all that shit. Then, you start thinking bout committing suicide regardless how much people cared. You only have that one person, even putting aside the family ties and the friends. How self-centered people are.  Nowadays I'll say, if you wanna know if that's really your friend, he or she will come to you regardless if it's a down time, or an up time. They don't leave you there. They share things with you. It's not about being an attention-seeker. It's more like if you cared, you want them to be there. It's as simple as that.

You can try saying it's the bf or it's the gf, like screw you I don't buy stuff as lame as that. Tell me something new. People like that wouldn't remember you anymore. You can put them aside and move on with life. Probably they will then appear when they finally get married. Or maybe not. Let's just say, they appear. Question, will you be so kind to bless them by going to his or her wedding?








I know, I wouldn't. I have many more things to do in life, such as drinking coffee.

And, that's not hatred. More like I live looking forward to the future, I've learnt my mistake from the past and I shall not repeat the same old mistake. I come, I see, I go.

That shows what kind of person are you. Never mind being busy, or first few months of honeymoon period, but anymore more than a certain timeframe, it's over. Things like that can neither be accepted nor forgiven. It's not even close to harsh. This is what friends are all about. They leave you when they do not need you anymore. I rather, I do not know you. That's when, we are all strangers that we probably had somehow crossed path at one point. That should then be left at how it was and never look back anymore.

I'll probably change how I think one day, but as of now, that's how things work in my brain. It's the principles of a basic friendship. It's your call. You choose how you live.

It's About Time

As you grow older, you realize there are people around you whom you cannot fathom. Probably, you just brush it aside as, ahh s/he is just being dramatic, or s/he is just craving for attention when you were younger. That may or may not be more acceptable. When you're young, everything you do, is more acceptable.

Not when you're older, or rather, much older. People expect you to be more matured, to be more realistic, to be more logical, and not act like a total idiot.

As a guy/girl, you don't go liking every single person out there that you encounter with. I don't call this immature. I call this being an idiot and desperado.

Regardless of the status of that person, you like him/her, being close to that person, only to regret later on and proudly brag about this? This is something you should be shameful of. Perhaps, this person is trying to victimize him/herself. Few months later, only to find yourself going to that path again.

My friend or not, this is someone I look down to. It doesn't matter if that other married party was the one initiating it, but you know you shouldn't be breaking people's family apart. It takes 2 to tango. You are wrong, it really just means you're wrong. You can say you are not wrong, if one insists, what can others say. It's still morally and socially wrong.

If single people don't like you, it means just one thing. There's something really wrong with you. If it's just one, two, three, or four, I can register. But, if it happens all the time, it's probably the attitude problem. If one is desperate, it's quite easy to tell. If you come off as a despo, you can't blame people for not liking you. People don't like a despo.

The quote "being classy is not about being stuck up. You need to cultivate respect for everyone, including yourself" is so right.