I am not mean, it's just being real

After so many years I knew her, she came back to me the other day, with the intention of having a conversation.

I ... as usual, had turned her away. We used to be able to talk, but not anymore. I don't feel it's wasted I felt it's something she deserves anyway.

I can't talk to people like that. If I do, I feel I am just being a hypocrite, in which, I am not.

After those years of not talking, not messaging and not whatever, I seldom see her online and that's the reason why I never deleted her from my MSN, coz her existence is NIL. I don't realize she existed, until the other day.

Yeah, she came to me saying that we had drifted apart and we are not as close as it was before. She sounded like as if she knew me VERY well, which of course is not true at all. My reply? Well, for some reasons, we are DEFINITELY not close anymore. Yes, we are not ... at all. Current status ... we are like strangers, probably worse. She has the guts to ask me what reasons. I just don't wanna say anything, and she being the lifeless soul, came trying to console me because I just "broke up" yeah so-called lolz. Immediately, I told her she doesn't have to do that. Please do me a favor ... stop pretending you are my friend when I know you are not. Stop pretending to be concerned and cared for my well being when I know you are not. Stop pretending to be sorry when I know you are not.

I am filled with bitterness. I am a troubled child. Sorry. How can I talk to someone, the same person who once told the whole wide world that I mistreated her as a friend after being away from home and gave the impression to people that I forget my own roots and friends. I did not. Even before I left the country, I was already treating her like that, just that she doesn't realize it. She thought I didn't know about all the nonsense she did behind. For me, that is backstabbing and I am very against it. After doing all those things, just don't try to be nice to me, I don't appreciate it, at all.

Sorry .. though I might look like I am the mean one, I am the bad one ... but I just don't care. Whatever and whoever you are ... just do as long as that makes your day, coz it will not ruin mine.

There's a price to pay for being real. So perhaps, I should start being fake and I wouldn't look like the bad one eh. But then again, sorry, I could not bring myself to do that, I am so going against my conscious.

Younger than me doesn't mean people should pity you. Well, I am always being misjudged as the cold, and evil one that people will suspect me as the one committing the offense, the one mistreating others. Well, for those who wanna believe, also, I am gonna say this, believe and whatever you wanna do, as long as you're happy. I wouldn't say anything.